


Tattoed on My Heart

by Sazzy260



Category: JAG, NCIS
Genre: Alternate Universe, Established Relationship, M/M, Out of Character, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-03
Updated: 2017-08-18
Packaged: 2018-12-10 12:01:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 27,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11691213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sazzy260/pseuds/Sazzy260
Summary: Tony met Harm two years ago when he was under arrest for murder, and when Harm had no friends come to his side for support, Tony was there for him in more ways than one.[ The OOC and AU tags are only there because it is SLIGHTLY AU/OOC, so don't hate me for that... ]





	1. Coming Home To You

 

The rain battered down against the windows of the building, it was dark, and stormy, and the lightning and thunder were incessant as DC was drowned in the longest rain of the season. 

 

Tony sighed as he stared at the streaks of rain going down the window, contemplating who would be the ‘winner’ of his current debacle – Which rain drop would reach the bottom of the window first.  That was what his life had been reduced to right now, with the lack of a case.

 

Tony glanced around the bullpen briefly, then refocused on his two rain droplets.  The bullpen was eerily quiet, save for the rumbling thunder overhead, it felt like old times when it was just Gibbs and him working together a couple of years ago, after Vivian Blackadder was booted out of NCIS and before Kate joined NCIS.

 

As much as Tony liked having the team dynamics with Kate being around, she was pretty good with her job – But when it came to profiling the people around her, like Tony, she was completely clueless to the hidden depths that he held within – He honestly missed the days of it just being him and Jethro, The A-Team, running rampant around DC without a care in the world.

 

Except that’s exactly what Tony had, he had a lot of care for the world, he cared a lot for the man silently sitting ten steps away at his own desk as well.  Tony sighed dramatically and sadly as he stood up, gracefully walking over to the large window, tracing the rain streak of his winner on the window, and then looking down into the darkened parking lot.

 

The rain droplets continued streaking down the window, colliding with one another and double-timing it down the window “Well, I’ll be damned…” Tony breathed out as a dark figure ran across the parking lot, coat over his head to protect him from the rain.

 

“What is it Tony?” Gibbs asked from his desk, his head still bent as he read the book he’d been reading behind the cold case file.

 

“Nothing boss… I’m going to-…” Tony started to say, but the elevator ding cut him off.  Tony sighed noisily as he walked back over to his desk, watching out of the corner of his eye as the tall man dressed in a naval uniform exited the elevator, and his eyes quickly catching sight of Tony.

 

The man grinned as he confidently walked over to Tony’s desk; rain drops sliding off the ends of his hair “Special Agent DiNozzo, how’re you doing?” the man asked.

 

Tony sighed and looked up at the man, biting back his bottom lip softly, then smiling “Quite fine, Commander.” Tony replied honestly, seeing Gibbs out of the corner of his eye, the raised eyebrow rising on Gibbs’ face could only mean trouble could be imminent.

 

“Can we talk?” the commander asked quietly, tapping his fingers on Tony’s desk impatiently.

 

Tony nodded his head slowly “Where would you like to talk, Rabb?” Tony asked in a serious tone, hopefully throwing Gibbs off the scent.

 

Harm sighed as he brought his hand up, wiping away the rain still sticking to his forehead and hair “Anywhere is fine, Agent DiNozzo…” Harm said, a frown forming on his face.

 

Tony chuckled as he stood up, chancing a glance at Gibbs, who gave his nod of approval.  Tony quickly guided Harm to an empty conference room, locking the door behind him and letting out the breath he’d been holding “For fucks sake!  I thought I told you that coming here was a bad idea?!  Are you trying to get me fired Harm?!  Or better yet, yourself?!” Tony hissed, his tone obvious that he was angry at his ‘visitor’.

 

Harm sighed as he sat down on the edge of the table, “I don’t know why I came here… I guess I missed my boyfriend after being on a carrier for two weeks?  For heavens sakes Tony, we’ve been dating for two years!  You’d think that you’d get over the fact that sometimes – _just sometimes_ – I’d like to come here, pick you up from work, take you out to dinner…” Harm said, running a hand down his face tiredly, “You really think that my career in the NAVY is important to me?  You’ve pretty much turned that notion upside down when you showed me that there is so much more to me than just the NAVY!” Harm said, his voice raising to near shouting levels at the end of his words.

 

Tony sighed, nodding his head slowly “Okay, okay… I understand Harm, I really do.  But, if you’re seriously tired of being in the NAVY… _why_ are you still in it?!” Tony near shouted, pinning Harm with a hard glare.

 

Harm shrugged his shoulders dejectedly “Resignation has been on my laptop for a month Tony… Just been trying to find the right opening… But it seems like, every time I turn around, there is a hot new case that requires my ‘unique skills’ – whatever the hell that means – I’m just a damned lawyer!” Harm grumbled, standing up and opening up his arms to Tony, a smirk crossing his face.

 

Tony giggled as he practically ran into Harm’s opened arms, nestling his head underneath the taller man’s chin, “God I missed you.” Tony breathed out as he planted a gentle kiss along Harm’s jawline.

 

“Missed you too, babe.” Harm said as he carded one hand through Tony’s hair, fisting his hand in the fine threads, then pulling Tony’s head back enough to plant a long and luxurious kiss on Tony’s lips.

 

Tony moaned into the kiss, his hands clutching at Harm’s hips as the kiss deepened and left both men breathless.

 

Harm sighed as he pulled back, resting his forehead against Tony’s forehead, gently rocking his and Tony’s body side to side, “You know, if you’re going to resign… You should probably print up those papers.” Tony said softly as he looked up into Harm’s eyes.

 

Harm nodded as he kissed the tip of Tony’s nose, laughing a bit “I’ve also got to do my resume and print that out… Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve needed a resume?” Harm asked as he rested his arms over Tony’s shoulders, looking directly into his lover’s eyes.

 

Tony nodded, giggling as he kissed Harm’s chin lightly “Since you joined the NAVY, when you were eighteen… Twenty-three years ago.” Tony said with a smile as he looked up at Harm.

 

Harm nodded and sighed as he closed his eyes lightly “Well, at least I’ve got my twenty in…” Harm said quietly as he released Tony, sliding his hands into his pockets.

 

Tony grinned as he poked Harm in the stomach lightly, “Stop being such a baby, you’ve been ready to leave JAG – At least the DC building – since Mac started dropping _serious_ hints about wanting to be with you.” Tony stated as he leaned up, kissing slowly along Harm’s jawline.

 

Harm sighed, nodding slightly as he slid his arms around Tony’s waist again, “When can you go home?” Harm asked huskily, whispering into Tony’s ear.

 

“Mmm, I could probably head home now…” Tony said in a half-moan as he continued kissing down Harm’s jawline and neck.

 

Harm nodded as he grasped Tony’s chin, tilting his lover’s head back, and away from his neck “Go get your stuff together.  I’ll bring my car around and drive you back here in the morning.” Harm said as he kissed Tony on the lips softly, then turned him towards the door.

 

Tony smirked as he nodded his head “Alright, fine.” Tony said, chuckling as he left the conference room and headed back to the bullpen.  “Hey boss, I’m gonna head out, that okay with you?” Tony asked as he looked over at Gibbs who was still sitting at his desk.

 

“Fine with me DiNozzo… Tell Rabb if he’s going to be picking you up… He should probably change out of his uniform next time.” Gibbs said, smirking a little as he looked up at Tony briefly.

 

Tony sighed, nodding his head slowly “I’ll tell him.  Thanks boss!” Tony exclaimed as he slung his backpack over his shoulder, shut his computer down and grabbed his gun and badge, then quickly took off towards the stairwell, taking the stairs down two at a time.

 

* * *

 

 

Tony easily slid into the red Corvette waiting underneath the awning outside of NCIS, smiling widely as he grabbed Harm by the lapels and pulled him close, kissing him hard and long, eliciting a moan from both men.

 

“Boss said if you’re going to be picking me up from work, you probably shouldn’t wear your uniform anymore.” Tony said with a megawatt grin on his face.

 

Harm nodded, sighing quietly as he put the Corvette into drive and began driving out of the Navy Yard, “I’ll keep that in mind, but hopefully I won’t need this uniform for much longer – I’m going to print my resignation out tonight, hand it in to Chegwidden tomorrow morning.” Harm said as he interlocked his fingers with Tony’s.

 

Tony smiled as he leaned over, kissing Harm softly on the cheek “I like the sound of that, so we’re headed to my apartment tonight?” Tony asked softly.

 

Harm nodded as he deftly drove from the Navy Yard to Tony’s apartment in Georgetown, they stopped at the local Italian restaurant and ordered dinner.  Now both men were sitting on the couch, shoulder-to-shoulder and watching _I-Spy_ while eating.

 

“So, who’s hotter?  Owen Wilson or Eddie Murphy?” Tony asked around a bite of his _Chicken Marsala_.

 

Harm sighed and shrugged his shoulders “Owen Wilson for his baby face and green eyes.  Eddie Murphy for maturity and good humor.” Harm replied around a bit of pasta.

 

Tony sighed and shook his head “Why do you always do that?!  You’re supposed to pick one or the other!  Not compartmentalize them both equally.” Tony said as he lowered his head, shaking his head slowly.

 

Harm chuckled as he leaned over, kissing Tony’s temple softly “Neither are hotter, they’re just actors.  But you, you’re hotter than both of them combined.” Harm said with a smirk.

 

Tony sighed, blushing slightly as he laid his head against Harm’s shoulder “Suck up.  Flattery will get you everywhere, however.” Tony said with a smile.

 

Harm laughed, dropping his head backwards onto the couch “Funny, Mac told me that flattery would get me nowhere.” Harm retorted, looking down at the top of Tony’s head.

 

Tony shook his head “Well, _Commander_ she was very wrong about that assumption.” Tony said as he turned his head, kissing Harm’s bare shoulder lightly.

 

Harm shrugged, lying his head on top of Tony’s “So, what about you?  Wilson or Murphy?” Harm asked with a grin.

 

Tony giggled, shaking his head slightly “Wilson, hands down is hotter than Murphy… _BUT_ , I wouldn’t sleep with either man, simply because I already have all I want, right here.” Tony said as he snuggled into Harm’s side.

 

Harm nodded, smiling widely “My sentiments exactly.” Harm whispered as he slid his arm behind Tony’s neck and kissed the top of his head.

 

* * *

 

 

The two men finally resigned to the bedroom after having printed out Harm’s resignation, and Tony proof-reading it, they had finished the movie but neither were too impressed, but both thought it was funny as hell to watch.

 

“I think I’m officially tired of movies about stolen air craft that the government needs to intervene on…” Harm grumbled as he dropped down into the bed next to Tony.

 

“Hey, at least _your_ career gets noticed on a near daily basis… It’s a sad day when people ask what the hell NCIS is…” Tony grumped as he turned onto his side, facing his partner.

 

“People always ask what NCIS is – So, are you telling me every day is a sad day?” Harm asked with a frown.

 

Tony shook his head as he kissed the frown away from his lover’s face “Nah, not when I get to come home to you.” Tony said with a smile as he snuggled into Harm’s chest, holding onto his hip lightly.

 

“You always come home to me.” Harm whispered as he wrapped his arms around Tony’s shoulder, holding him close.

 

Tony nodded tiredly, stifling a yawn into Harm’s chest, “So, what’re you going to be doing with the rest of your life?” Tony asked around another yawn.

 

Harm shrugged slightly as he ran his hand up and down Tony’s back lightly “Well, I could always become a pilot… But, I doubt you’d want that – Long hours, hardly ever home – Nah, maybe I could go into the private sector of law… Or maybe the District Attorney’s office… being a DA might be nice.  District Attorney Harmon Rabb Junior, what do you think?” Harm asked with a grin.

 

Tony nodded as he kissed Harm’s chest lightly, “DA Rabb sounds very appealing, counselor.” Tony said huskily.

 

Harm nodded, nudging Tony under his chin, “Can’t kiss you from down there, come up here.” Harm said softly.

 

Tony smirked and crawled up to plaster himself fully against Harm, their lips locking in a devastatingly passionate kiss.

 

Harm rolled their bodies so Tony was underneath him, groaning as their bare erections rubbed together.  Harm reached over to the nightstand, grabbing the bottle of lube and squirting some into his hand, then wrapping both his hand around their erections, stroking their lengths slowly together.

 

Tony moaned out, his legs spreading as he arched into Harm’s fist, “Oh god…” Tony breathed out, his fists clenching around the sheets.

 

Harm grinned as he kissed across Tony’s collarbone softly “Do you want more?” Harm asked against Tony’s ear.

 

Tony whimpered as he nodded his head, grasping at Harm’s bicep and digging his fingernails into the firm flesh, “Yes… Please… please…” Tony begged, whimpering loudly as Harm released their cocks and slowly pressed a lubed finger against Tony’s opening.

 

Harm slicked himself up and leaned forward, kissing Tony deeply and lovingly as he pulled his fingers out of Tony and slowly pressed the head of his cock into the tight ring of muscles.  Tony gasped out, breaking the kiss as he clenched his fingers around Harm’s biceps, loud whimpers escaping his mouth, “You okay?” Harm asked, holding himself steady above Tony.

 

Tony nodded slowly “Mhm.  Just been a while.” Tony said softly, opening his eyes to look up into calm sapphire blue eyes.  Harm nodded as he carefully inched his way into Tony, holding eye contact with his lover as he bottomed out.

 

Harm set up a gentle and loving pace, Tony’s legs tangled over Harm’s arms as the taller man thrusted deep and slow, both men moaning into each other’s mouth as they kissed tenderly.

 

* * *

 

 

The next morning, Harm sighed as he pulled on a pair of dark jeans, a long-sleeved sky-blue button up shirt and a pair of old sneakers.

 

“Okay so, I’m going to take this into work.  Request time off until the resignation is processed.  Chegwidden will probably bitch and yell, but I won’t yield.” Harm said as he stared at himself in the mirror.

 

Tony giggled as he strung a thin black tie over Harm’s shoulder “You should at least wear a tie.  And probably change your shoes.” Tony said with a grin.

 

Harm shook his head and pulled the tie off his shoulder “You don’t like the casual – slightly-hobo – look?” Harm asked, looking himself up and down again.

 

Tony shook his head and kissed the back of Harm’s neck lightly “It looks good on you, _when_ you’re just hanging out.  Not when you’re quitting your job.” Tony said as he walked back into the closet, pulling out Harm’s black dress shoes and a pair of socks, then walking back to his lover, he shoved the items lightly against his chest “The jeans and shirt are fine, just put on the shoes and tie, and you will look damn hot… _unless!_ You want to go for intimidating, then I’d suggest your black tactical sweater.” Tony said with a grin.

 

Harm tilted his head to the side and then nodded “Black sweater.” He said as he walked back into the closet and quickly changed into the sweater, sighing as he shook his head “Won’t work with dress shoes, or sneakers… Need the boots.” Harm stated as he grabbed his black steel-toed boots, then pulled his shoes off and slid into his boots, tying them up tightly, he walked back out and stared at himself in the mirror, wearing black from head to toe now.

 

“Now you look intimidating… and hot… Hot and intimidating.” Tony said huskily, sliding his arms around Harm’s waist from behind.

 

Harm chuckled as he turned around “Don’t have time to undress and redress. Really need to be there soon.” Harm said, leaning down and kissing Tony softly, slapping Tony on the ass playfully “And I have to get you to work on time as well.” Harm said as he led Tony out of the bedroom, then the apartment all together.

 

* * *

 

 

When Harm dropped Tony off in front of the NCIS building, they looked at each other, grinning, “Gonna kiss me here, in front of work?” Tony asked softly.

 

Harm nodded his head as he grabbed onto Tony’s tie and pulled his lover closer, their lips colliding in a heated and passionate kiss “Love you.” Harm said quietly, gently stroking Tony’s cheek with his thumb.

 

Tony nodded, nuzzling his nose into Harm’s nose lightly “Love you too, good luck today babe.” Tony said as he kissed Harm softly on the lips once more.

 

Harm laughed and nodded his head, “Yeah, you too… Because, you’ve just been officially outed to your team.” Harm said, nodding towards a slack-jawed Timothy McGee, a wide-eyed Kate and a giddy hand-clapping Abby.  Tony groaned and laid his head in the curve of Harm’s nose, mumbling something in Italian, Harm nodded and kissed Tony’s forehead “Si, you do, doesn’t look like it’ll be too bad though.” Harm whispered against Tony’s forehead.

 

Tony sighed and lifted his head, glancing over at his teammates, “Okay, I can totally do this.  Ti amo Papa.” Tony said, as he leaned in, kissing Harm once more before opening the door.

 

“Ti amo troppo bello.” Harm said, winking at Tony as he revved the engine of his corvette, and peeled out of the parking lot once the door was shut.


	2. Harm's Day

 

Once Harm had dropped Tony off, he stopped at the closest Starbucks and grabbed himself an extra-large coffee, then stared up at the four-story building of the JAG offices, he was extremely anxious about doing what he was doing, but in the end, he knew it had to be done.  Grabbing his briefcase and taking out his resignation, Harm inhaled deeply and headed into the building and straight to Admiral Chegwidden’s office door, he hadn’t spared a glance to anyone in the office as he knocked on the door.

 

Once Harm heard the gruff ‘ _Enter_ ’ from the other side of the door, Harm walked straight in and slapped his resignation down onto the desk, crossing his arms over his chest and casually sipping at his coffee.

 

Chegwidden glanced down at the paper, then up at Harm with a slight scowl and a raised eyebrow “Didn’t know it was casual Friday, Commander Rabb!” Chegwidden barked angrily.

 

Harm shook his head, pointing towards his resignation with his coffee cup, staying silent the entire time.

 

Chegwidden sighed as he picked his reading glasses up off the desk, setting them onto the bridge of his nose, he then grabbed the paper and began reading over it carefully.  After he set it down, he linked his hands together “Do you care to elaborate on these ‘ _personal reasons_ ’?” AJ asked, his tone airing on the side of aggravated.

 

Harm shook his head and sighed “It would not be in my best interest to elaborate, _sir_.” Harm replied, a note of defiance in his tone.

 

Chegwidden rolled his eyes as he grabbed a pen out of the holder on his desk “And, can I assume that you will also be taking leave until your resignation has gone through, officially?” Chegwidden asked, pen hovering over the request forms.

 

Harm nodded his head “Yes sir.” Harm said, sipping at his coffee again, now that it was luke-warm he grimaced and shook his head, staring at the green and white cup with disdain.

 

Chegwidden rubbed at his temple with his free hand, signing the leave forms and then signing off on Harm’s resignation, setting both in his outbox.  “This about that federal agent?” Chegwidden asked, setting his pen back in the holder, his attitude changing from the earlier anger to understanding for the younger man before him.

 

Harm nodded, a hint of a smile crossing his face “I love him… and I can’t – won’t – risk my career.  I’d rather leave with a good record before something gets out and I’m faced with a court marital.” Harm stated, sliding his foot back and forth on the tile floor.

 

Chegwidden nodded “Alright then.  I won’t say anything until it’s been processed.  Will you be interested in having a dining out party?” Chegwidden asked, a hint of hope lacing his voice.

 

Harm shrugged, the nodded his head slightly “Only seems fair to my friends… and my career.  Twenty-three years of service shouldn’t go unnoticed.” Harm said, smiling slightly.

 

Chegwidden nodded as he stood up, his hand extended outward to Harm, “We’ll make sure that we throw a spectacular dining out party for you.” Chegwidden said with a hint of a smile on his face.

 

Harm nodded as he shook Chegwidden’s hand firmly “I’m certain of that.” Harm said as he sighed, looking behind his shoulder “I… should go to pack my office up and stuff.  See you at the end of the month, Admiral.” Harm said, leaving the office with a smile.

 

* * *

 

 

Harm stood in his office with his hands on his hips as he stared at his belongings, there wasn’t much to pack in the room.  Nearly ten years at JAG and he’d never really brought a bunch of personal items into the building, for that he was thankful.

 

Mac stood in the doorway of Harm’s office, staring at the broad back of the man of her affections “Hey Harm, you took the day off?” Mac asked curiously, eyebrow raised.

 

Harm shook his head slowly “Nope. I resigned my commission this morning.” Harm stated as he grabbed an empty file box from the top of his filing cabinets and began packing away his belongings.

 

“You did what?!” Mac near-shouted, her eyes bulging wide as she grabbed Harm by the bicep and tried turning the man towards her.

 

Harm looked down at the hand on his arm, then at the face that it belonged to “I resigned my commission.  I’m retiring.  Now, could you please release my arm?” Harm asked, staring Mac angrily in the eyes.

 

Mac released Harm’s bicep, taking a few steps backwards “Wow… I uhm, I’m sorry… I-I can’t believe you’re retiring.  How… How come?” Mac asked hesitantly, nibbling on her lower lip nervously.

 

Harm shook his head and sighed noisily as he set his packed belongings down on his desk, “My reasons for leaving are personal, and I really don’t feel like discussing this any further.” Harm stated as he grabbed the box once again, shifting it underneath his arm and adjusting it on his hip properly as he walked out of the office and flipped the light off.  Without a backwards glance at anyone – despite all the concerned faces – Harm left JAG for the final time.

 

* * *

 

 

After leaving JAG, Harm began aimlessly driving around the DC area for what felt like hours, finally he found himself sitting outside of Tony’s apartment.  Harm felt dejected and unstable for the first time in his life, and all the anger he felt from Mac’s continued flirtations and advancements, he pounded his palm into his steering wheel until all the anger left his body.

 

Harm sighed, laying his head back and twisting his hands around the steering wheel after his pent-up anger had been exerted.  Unfortunately, he still felt completely vulnerable and dejected.  Harm quickly got out of the car and headed up to Tony’s apartment, letting himself in with his key.

 

Harm walked around the apartment for a few minutes, then sighed as he stood at the balcony windows, staring out at the city below and around him.  When his cellphone rang, he nearly jumped out of his skin, then quickly answered it “Rabb.” He answered in a clipped tone.

 

“Commander Rabb!  It’s Bud Roberts, sir!  We just heard the news!  Have you really resigned?” Bud asked frantically.

 

Harm sighed, lowering his head to his chest “Yeah Bud, I really have resigned.  It was well past time to resign.  I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.  I hope you and Harriet aren’t too terribly upset with me.” Harm stated as he sat down at Tony’s baby grand piano, slowly lifting the key cover.

 

“Of course not sir.  Well I mean, yes, we’re upset that you’ve retired, but not _at you_ sir!  Perhaps a little confused though… What happened to make you retire without notice?” Bud asked curiously, the concern evident in his voice.

 

“Perhaps we could discuss this later on?  It’s not something that should be said over the phone, Bud.” Harm said, tapping on a few keys on the keyboard, grimacing at the off-tone sound he made.

 

“Sure, that sounds good.  Should I bring Harriet along?” Bud asked.

 

Harm chuckled softly as he nodded his head, then realized Bud couldn’t see his actions “Yeah Bud, that’d be great.” Harm said, then gave the younger man on the phone Tony’s address “I’ll see you around seven Bud.” Harm added as he hung up the phone call, sighing heavily as he tapped at a few more keys before getting up and heading to the bedroom to change so he could head to NCIS.


	3. Tony's Day

 

After Harm had dropped Tony off, he stood on the sidewalk, watching the taillights of the red Corvette disappear, then turned to his friends, grinning shyly, his cheeks and neck turning a crimson color.

 

Abby giggled as she bounded over to Tony, wrapping him up in a bone-crushing hug.  Tony gasped slightly, “Can’t… breathe!” Tony squeaked out.  Abby giggled again as she loosened her hold on Tony then looked up at him expectantly, Tony sighed as he wrapped Abby up in a hug “Alright… I know you have questions, so… any time you’re ready.” Tony said as he and the three team members began walking into the building, Abby still wrapped around Tony’s body.

 

“ _WHO_ was the major hottie you were lip-locking with?!  How long have you been together?!  Why haven’t we met him before?!  What the heck happened to Frat-Boy Tony who dates everything in a skirt?!  Does he wear a skirt?!” Abby rattled off, looking up at Tony with wide green eyes.

 

Tony laughed, shaking his head as he nudged the elevator button with his knuckle “That major hottie was Harmon Rabb Junior – You may remember him from that case two years ago.  We’ve been together for two years.  You haven’t met him before, because we weren’t ready to go public with our relationship yet.  Frat-Boy Tony never really existed, it was just a cover.  And no, he definitely does _not_ wear skirts.” Tony stated, taking a deep breath and releasing it slowly.

 

“So you’re… gay?” Kate asked incredulously as the four friends got onto the elevator together, pressing the button for the bullpen.

 

Tony nodded, smiling shyly as he adjusted his backpack on his shoulder “Yeah, I am.  Is that going to be a problem?” Tony asked, looking between McGee and Kate, not having to include Abby in that question, knowing she’s already completely okay with the idea.

 

Kate nodded her head slowly, “It’s alright with me, as long as you stop flirting with every woman who walks past your desk.” Kate said, looking over at McGee who’d been silent so far.

 

McGee nodded, swallowing convulsively “Y…yes…  Yes.  It’s fine with me, Tony.” McGee said, stammering slightly.

 

Tony grinned, and nodded as they all got off on the floor to the bullpen, “I’d rather just keep this between the team right now though – I hope you guys understand, it’s not easy being… gay… in law enforcement.  Gibbs already knows, and has known – about my sexuality – for a long time now.” Tony stated as they walked into the MCRT’s section of the bullpen.

 

“I’m sure boss-man would kick anybody’s ass if they tried messing with you Tony!  He’s always been overly protective of you.” Abby said, beaming a wide smile up at her best friend.

 

Tony nodded, “He’s already proven that he’d protect me when it comes to this aspect of my life.  I know that Kate and McGee wouldn’t remember, but when I joined NCIS… Stan Burley and I had a… rather…” Tony sighed, waving his hand in the air helplessly.

 

Gibbs laughed as he walked into the bullpen, ever-present cup of coffee in his hand as he stood beside Tony “They had a very loud argument, which led to Stan getting punched in the jaw – by me – because he kept taunting Tony after finding out about his sexuality.  I told Stan that under no circumstances would he antagonize any member of my team.  Director Morrow heard the entire exchange, gave Stan the chance to transfer to Agent Afloat or resign without commission.  He shut up and got out as quickly as he could.” Gibbs said, grinning as he looked around at the faces of his team, who all had wide-opened mouths at all the words that just came out of Gibbs’ mouth.

 

After a few silent minutes, Tony began laughing “That’s when I knew that I actually belonged here at NCIS.  Gibbs made sure that nobody bothered me… But, then again, that’s also when I developed the playboy persona, because I knew if people found out the truth about me… Gibbs and I would have had a lot of problems out in the field, especially when we were just a two-man team.” Tony said, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.

 

Abby frowned as she wrapped Tony up in a warm embrace, kissing his cheek and leaving behind a black lipstick stain “Oh Toneeee!  You shouldn’t have had to hide yourself for so long!  You should know that the people at NCIS aren’t as narrow-minded as the people in other law enforcement agencies!” Abby admonished, shaking Tony slightly in her arms.

 

Tony chuckled as he extricated himself from Abby’s embrace and nodded his head “Yeah, I think I’m starting to figure that out.” Tony said quietly, rocking uncomfortably on his heels.

 

Gibbs shook his head and sighed, “Alright people, let’s get back to work – I think you’ve bothered Tony with enough questions this morning, and the day has only just begun.” Gibbs stated, his tone gruff and brash as he moved past the group and returned to his desk, everyone else quickly scrambled to their own sections of the NCIS building.

 

* * *

 

 

Tony sighed as he leaned against the vending machine, staring at the options before him, “What to eat, what to eat.” Tony mumbled at the machine, tapping the glass with his finger, as if it’d give him the answer.

 

Gibbs chuckled as he walked over to the coffee pot “Don’t you think it’s a little early to be snacking?” Gibbs asked, pouring more coffee into his paper cup.

 

Tony shook his head “Not right now.  Too many stressors today…” Tony said as he straightened up and hit his selection for a bag of chips.

 

Gibbs shook his head, sighing as he sipped his coffee slowly, grimacing at the subpar taste, “Forget about all the questions Tony, it doesn’t change who you are.  Besides, just think about Harm and what he’s going through today with resigning his commission… He’s going to need you stress free so you can talk him off the proverbial ledge…” Gibbs said, pouring the coffee down the sink.  “Speaking of Harm, when do you think he’ll show up?” Gibbs asked as he grabbed the coffee grounds and made a fresh five-scoop pot of marine-grade sludge.

 

Tony shrugged his shoulders “My guess would be around ten.” Tony said, opening his bag of chips and shoveling a few of them into his mouth.

 

Gibbs shook his head slowly “Don’t count on it, bet you he’ll be here around noon.” Gibbs stated as he poured the freshly brewed coffee into his cup, watching Tony out of the corner of his eye.

 

“I’ll take your money.  Twenty bucks?” Tony asked, holding his clean hand out to Gibbs while balancing the chip bag precariously between his front teeth.

 

Gibbs nodded as he grasped Tony’s hand, shaking it firmly.  “Twenty bucks it is.  Now, come on, we got work to do closing out that Bennet case.” Gibbs said as he grabbed his cup, then Tony’s shoulder, guiding the younger man back out to the bullpen.

 

* * *

 

 

Five minutes after ten, the elevator dinged, Tony lifted his head and smirked slightly, standing up and walking over to Gibbs’ desk “Told you he’d show up!” Tony quipped, holding his hand out to the older man.

 

Jethro grumbled as he pulled a twenty-dollar bill out of his wallet and slapped it into Tony’s hand “Last time I make a bet with you!” Gibbs growled, returning to signing off on reports and requisition forms.

 

Harm sighed as he walked into the middle of the bullpen with his head lowered to his chest.  Tony stood in front of him and tilted his head to look up into Harm’s eyes “I feel lost.” Harm whispered hoarsely.

 

Tony chuckled as he tapped Harm under his chin lightly “You’ll figure everything out, Harm.” Tony said with a smile as he turned Harm’s head upward and kissed Harm’s cheek “You do look a little lost though.  But its okay, I’ll help you through this.” Tony added, turning towards Kate and McGee who had been silently watching the exchange.

 

“Kate, Tim… This is Harmon Rabb Junior, my boyfriend.  Harm, this is Kate and McGee.  Kate has been here for a year, and McGee just signed on a few months ago.” Tony said with a grin on his face, a dreamy look in his eyes as he looked up at Harm.

 

Kate giggled as she stepped forward with her hand outstretched to Harm, “It’s a pleasure to meet you!” Kate said with a wide grin on her face.

 

Harm chuckled as he delicately shook Kate’s hand, “It’s nice to meet you, also.” Harm said, then turned towards McGee and shook his hand also “And you, Agent McGee.” Harm said with a smile.

 

McGee stammered a few times, then cleared his throat “Thank you sir, it’s nice to meet you also.” McGee said shyly.

 

Harm laughed as he released McGee’s hand, slipping his arm around Tony’s waist, “You don’t have to call me sir.” Harm said with a smile.

 

A loud pitched squeal echoed in the hall, then loud clomping of boots resounding off the carpeted floor as Abby ran into the bullpen, launching herself into Tony’s arms.  Tony stumbled backwards slightly at the force of Abby coming at him, but Harm quickly stood behind Tony and straightened him up “And, this must be the vivacious Abigail Sciuto.” Harm said once he released Tony and stood at his side again.

 

Tony nodded as he looked up at Harm “Yes, this is her.” Tony said as he snuggled into Harm’s side.

 

Abby giggled as she released Tony and looked up at Harm, “Wow!  Wow. Wow. Wow. Tony!  He’s taller than you!  He’s… so tall!” Abby breathed out excitedly as she began circling Tony and Harm.

 

Harm followed Abby with his eyes, “What is she doing?” Harm whispered, glancing at Tony who was trying his hardest not to laugh.

 

“Pretty sure she’s sizing you up, both literally and figuratively.” Tony said, grinning up at Harm.

 

Abby stood in front of Tony and Harm once again and set her hands on her hips “ _Actually_ I was sizing the both of you up – Together, as a couple – And, I have to say… _TOTALLY_ works!  You guys are… YUM!” Abby squealed, bouncing happily on her feet and clapping her hands.

 

Harm chuckled as he slid his arm around Tony’s waist, hand resting in his lover’s back pocket, “I’d absolutely have to agree with you on that dear Abby.  I find him very yum as well.” Harm said, grinning wickedly, squeezing Tony’s ass through his pants.

 

Tony squeaked and slapped Harm in the chest “Ow!” Harm pouted, rubbing tenderly at his chest.  Tony smirked as he leaned up, moving in to kiss the pout away from Harm’s face, “Nuh uh!  Not gonna work this time.” Harm said, turning his face away from Tony’s questing lips.

 

Tony furrowed his brows, staring up at Harm with a frown, “ ** _You’re not really mad at me, are you?_** ” Tony asked in Italian, searching Harm’s turned face.

 

Harm nodded slightly, turning to face Tony, his pout still firmly in place.  Tony sighed as he turned towards Gibbs, raising his eyebrow, Gibbs shrugged his shoulders and pointed towards the stairwell.  Tony inhaled and nodded as he grabbed Harm’s wrist lightly “We’ll be back soon.” Tony stated as he dragged Harm away from the crowd and towards the stairwell, Harm willingly followed behind Tony, smirking behind him.

 

* * *

 

 

Tony squeaked when Harm thrusted him into a wall, and let out a whimper when a pair of teeth and lips attached to his neck and began sucking against it “Harm…” Tony gasped out, his fingers struggling to grab onto anything as he melted into the strong body against him and the cinder block wall behind him.

 

Harm sighed as he released Tony, smiling at the content look on his lover’s face, “I’m not mad at you.  Could never be mad at you.” Harm whispered against Tony’s cheek, laying his forehead against Tony’s.

 

Tony frowned as he rubbed Harm’s sides lightly, looking up at him, “What’s wrong babe?” Tony asked softly.

 

Harm shook his head and kissed Tony’s cheek softly “Nothing exactly.  Just had a rough day… I have a feeling that Mac is going to be giving me more trouble than what it’s worth… I know I wouldn’t hit a woman, but she came _so close_ to getting knocked on her ass this morning.” Harm said sadly as he turned their bodies, leaning into the corner and hugging Tony against his chest.

 

Tony sighed as he laid his head against Harm’s shoulder, nimble fingers dancing up and down Harm’s chest and stomach, “I swear to _gawd!_ I really need to get a tattoo printed onto your forehead that reads ‘Belongs to Tony D. DiNozzo’ because that… UGH!” Tony griped, rolling his eyes as he fisted his hand in Harm’s shirt.

 

Harm laughed as he looked down at Tony, “Very gay of you, darling.  Don’t think I’ve seen your queen side in quite a while.” Harm said, waggling his eyebrows slightly.

 

Tony giggled as he leaned up, kissing Harm sweetly on the lips, gentle fingers caressing across Harm’s slightly stubbled jawline “Well, if the shoe fits.  But seriously, if she keeps bothering you, I am going to have to recruit some friends to help me dispose of the body properly.” Tony said seriously, grasping Harm’s chin and tilting his head down so they were looking into each other’s eyes.

 

Harm grinned, kissing Tony on the lips gently “Doesn’t matter if she keeps hitting on me or not, Tony.  I’m gay and happily in a relationship with the best guy I know.”  Harm said gently, brushing his fingertips across Tony’s cheek lightly, “Oh and, I almost forgot – We’re having company tonight… Just Bud and Harriet – Unless you want to invite anyone else?” Harm questioned.

 

Tony nodded and smiled softly “I think we should invite Ducky and Gibbs.  They’ve both been so supportive of our relationship, and if Bud and Harriet don’t approve or support us… We’ll need people in our corner… I’d invite the entire team, but neither of us have room in either of our apartments… speaking of which, whose apartment are we going to?” Tony asked as he snuggled into Harm’s chest, returning his hand to the light caresses of his lover’s chest and stomach.

 

Harm chuckled as he kissed Tony’s forehead “Your apartment.  And don’t worry about picking anything up, I have the menu already all planned out, and no, I won’t tell you what we’re eating until you’re sitting at the dining room table.” Harm said, grinning as he laid his head on top of Tony’s nuzzling into the soft silky strands of his partner’s hair.

 

Tony sighed as he pushed up from Harm’s chest, kissing Harm gently on the lips “Doesn’t matter what you cook, everything you make is amazing babe.” Tony said sincerely as he slid his hand into Harm’s hand, interlocking their fingers as he began walking with Harm down to the visitor’s parking lot.


	4. The Dinner.

 

When Harm got back to Tony’s apartment, he quickly set to work on making the two lasagna’s – One vegetarian, and one with meat – and put them in the oven.  He was now lying on the couch with his guitar across his chest, randomly plucking at the strings until a song popped into his head;

 

_Across the desert plains – Where nothing dares to grow_

_I taught you how to sing, you taught me everything I know_

_And though the night is young, and we don’t if we’ll live to see the sun._

_The best is yet to come – I know, you know_

_That we’ve only just begun_

_Through the highs and lows, how can I live without you?_

_You’re such a part of me, and you’ve always been the one._

_Keeping me forever young, and the best is yet to come._

_Hey-ho.  Don’t look now, the best is yet to come._

_Hey-ho.  Take my hand, the best is yet to come._

_Thinking of the times, how we laughed and cried_

_I wouldn’t change a thing, I couldn’t even if I tried_

_Through the wind and rain, the spirit of our song remains the same._

Tony smiled as he walked into the apartment, inhaling the scent wafting from the kitchen and the strong baritone voice of his boyfriend echoing from the couch, he quietly walked into the living room and sat on the edge of the couch, Harm smiled as he continued strumming the guitar as Tony took over the singing;

 

**_The best is yet to come – I know, you know_ **

**_That we’ve only just begun_ **

**_Through the highs and lows, how can I live without you?_ **

**_You’re such a part of me, and you’ve always been the one._ **

**_Keeping me forever young, and the best is yet to come._ **

****

**_Hey-ho.  Don’t look now, the best is yet to come._ **

**_Hey-ho.  Take my hand, the best is yet to come._ **

****

**_Oh you can feel it in the air_ **

**_It’s in your heart and everywhere_ **

**_We got to keep that dream alive._ **

****

**_We cross another road, and face another day_ **

**_Soldiers can never die, they only fade away_ **

**_How can we grow old, when the soundtrack of our lives is rock and roll?_ **

****

**_The best is yet to come – I know, you know_ **

**_That we’ve only just begun_ **

**_Through the highs and lows, how can I live without you?_ **

**_You’re such a part of me, and you’ve always been the one._ **

**_Keeping me forever young, and the best is yet to come._ **

****

**_Hey-ho.  Don’t look now, the best is yet to come._ **

**_Hey-ho.  Take my hand, the best is yet to come._ **

****

Harm smiled as he reached up, caressing Tony’s cheek “Love you babe.” Harm said as he sat up, kissing Tony lovingly on the lips.

 

Tony smiled as he cupped Harm’s cheek, nuzzling into his lover’s cheek with his nose “Love you too papa.  Are you feeling any better?” Tony asked softly, resting his forehead in the curve of Harm’s nose.

 

Harm nodded as he set his guitar down on the coffee table, tugging Tony into his lap and holding him close “I do feel better.  I think cooking and playing really helped.  Then of course, you coming in and singing as well, definitely helped too.” Harm said sincerely as he kissed Tony’s cheek, snuggling into the younger man’s body.

 

Tony giggled as he kissed Harm’s forehead gently “You’re making lasagna.  Vegetarian and Meat?” Tony asked as he moved to get comfortable in Harm’s lap, laying his head against Harm’s shoulder.

 

Harm grinned, nodding his head as he laid down on the couch with Tony, “Well yeah, you know I won’t eat the meat one, but you’ll eat both of them – plus Gibbs would kill me if I _just_ made vegetarian lasagna.  Isn’t that right?” Harm asked, looking backwards at the grey-haired marine standing in the doorway.

 

Gibbs raised his eyebrow “How the hell did you know I was here?!” he asked, amazed that he can hardly ever sneak up on the younger man.

****

Harm laughed as he shrugged his shoulders, “You’re not nearly as sneaky as you like to think you are, you’ve just been doing it so long around Tony that he doesn’t listen to his surroundings at work, therefore he doesn’t do it at home either… I do.” Harm said plainly as he rolled Tony off his body and stood up.

 

Gibbs chuckled as he held out two six-packs of beer to Harm “Brought beer.  Hopefully I got a kind that pairs well.” Gibbs stated, grinning slightly.  Harm shrugged as he took the two packs and walked into the kitchen.

 

Tony surged up from the couch, “Beer goes with anything Boss.  Glad you could make it!” Tony said enthusiastically as he walked over to Gibbs and hugged the older man, Gibbs smiled warmly as he wrapped his arms around the younger man, hugging him back lovingly.

 

“Wouldn’t miss this for the world.” Gibbs said, cradling the younger man’s head gently.

 

Harm snorted as he came back into the living room with three opened beers “It’s just me outing myself to people I’ve known for eight years… Not much to miss.” Harm said, handing the three beers off.

 

“On the contrary young Harmon, this is most momentous in your relationship with young Anthony.  You have been keeping this secret for quite a long time, we would not miss this moment in case you need us.” Ducky said from the doorway, kicking the door shut with his foot and handing off an over-stuffed grocery bag to Gibbs, then taking off his coat and hat.

 

Gibbs walked into the kitchen with the grocery bag “And not to mention, we wouldn’t miss your lasagna… Or any of your meals!” Gibbs called over his shoulder as he unloaded the grocery bag and aligned things in their respective places.

 

“They’re both right, Harm… This is a _big_ moment in your life, and you’re going to need us if things don’t go the way you’re hoping.” Tony said, taking Harm’s hands in his own and kissing the taller man’s knuckles softly, “And of course, eating your food is always a positive.” Tony added, grinning up at Harm.

 

* * *

 

 

As Harm prepared the remainder of dinner, including homemade Garlic sticks, and sautéed vegetables, Tony, Gibbs and Ducky all sat in the living room, chatting about the case that they just finished up.  The doorbell echoed through the house and Tony sprang up to his feet.

 

“I got it!” Tony called as he bounced over to the front door happily, opening it up with an excited flourish.

 

“Special Agent DiNozzo!?” Bud questioned in shock, staring up at the casually dressed agent in front of him, his eyes blinking slowly as if that would change who was in front of him.

 

“The one and only!” Tony said with a wide grin on his face, bouncing excitedly on the balls of his feet.

 

“Anthony!  Let them in damn it, stop trying to give Bud a heart-attack!” Harm shouted from the kitchen.

 

Tony giggled as he pulled the door open completely “Please, do come in.” Tony said, waving the new-comers into the apartment.

 

Harriet giggled as she pushed her husband into the apartment, “It is so nice to see you, Agent DiNozzo.  This is quite the beautiful apartment you have here!” Harriet said, glancing around the lavishly decorated apartment.

 

Tony bowed, smiling charmingly as he took Harriet’s wrap and laid it over the coat rack, then took Bud’s jacket, placing it on the coat rack as well “Why thank you Mrs. Harriet,” Tony said as he kissed the back of Harriet’s hand and then tucked her hand around his elbow, showing her around, while Bud trailed behind until they were in the kitchen.

 

Harm was standing in the kitchen still, grating cheese over the baking dishes, wearing snug blue jeans and a tight long-sleeved sweater that hugged his body like a second glove and showed off the tattoo on his chest, “Harriet!  Bud!  I’m so glad you both showed up!” Harm said, grinning widely as he brushed his hands off on the towel tucked into his waistband, making his way over to his guests, hugging Harriet and shaking Bud’s hand.

 

“Harmon Rabb!  You have a tattoo!” Harriet squeaked out, tugging Harm’s shirt aside to look at the tribal dragon tattoo on Harm’s chest.  Harm laughed as he looked over at Bud’s shocked expression, obviously embarrassed by his wife’s antics.

 

“Harriet!  Let the commander’s shirt go!” Bud hissed as he grabbed his wife’s wrist gently and pulled her hands away from Harm’s body.

 

Harm laughed boisterously as he fixed his collar “It is quite alright Bud, I don’t mind really.  And yes, Harriet, I do have a tattoo, I actually have two tattoos.” Harm stated as he pulled up his right sleeve to his elbow, exposing the tribal designed bear claw wrapping around his forearm, “Tony and I… have matching tattoos actually.” Harm said, looking towards Tony.

 

Tony stood closer to Harm and rolled his right sleeve up as well, exposing the same tattoo, then pulled his collar down slightly, exposing the dragon tattoo on his chest.  Harriet giggled as she examined both tattoos “They’re quite beautiful, I certainly approve.  Hot men with tattoos are well… hot?” Harriet said, blushing a crimson red.

 

Bud looked between the four tattoos on the two men, an eyebrow raised up near his hairline “Why… why do you… have matching… tattoos?” Bud stammered out, looking frantically between the two men, his eyes playing an erratic tennis match.

 

Harm shook his head and smiled warmly “We’ll discuss it, _after_ we eat dinner!” Harm announced as he walked back over to his two lasagna dishes, popping them back into the oven to melt the final layer of cheese while Tony guided the two guests back into the living room, serving Harriet a glass of white wine and Bud a glass of expensive scotch.

 

* * *

 

 

Throughout dinner conversation flowed easily and was relatively light on topic discussion, Harriet kept an eye on the easy interactions between Harm and Tony, she had a feeling what the big announcement surrounding Harm’s resignation, but would hold her tongue until Harm himself confirmed her theories.

 

Bud remained hopelessly clueless to the interactions between the two men, the lingering touches, the heated and loving gazes.  Harriet sighed and shook her head at her husband’s obliviousness.  When dinner was over, Harriet offered to help clean up, but Tony and Harm both rebuffed her offer “It’s not necessary, Harriet.  Tony and I will handle it!” Harm said with a charming smile as Harm and Tony both collected plates and the serving ware and headed into the kitchen together, their shoulders lightly brushing together as they walked away.

 

Gibbs and Ducky walked the couple back into the living room “Harmon, there are two different kinds of pie in the refrigerator!  Would you mind serving them up with perhaps some tea and coffee?” Ducky asked from the doorway, smiling warmly at the younger man.

 

Harm nodded, bowing theatrically “Of course, doctor Mallard, I would be delighted!” Harm said, chuckling as Tony whipped him in the rear with the towel “What was that for?!” Harm asked, whirling around and pinning Tony against the counter.

 

Ducky shook his head and walked back into the living room.  Tony smiled as he looked up at Harm, “I felt like it… Would have used my hand, but I thought that would be inappropriate.” Tony whispered, sneaking a quick kiss from Harm and then slipping out from underneath the taller man’s body as he went to the fridge and pulled the two pies out.

 

Harm shook his head as he grabbed a knife, desert plates and forks.  He then pressed brew on the coffee pot, “Okay…” Harm inhaled deeply, bracing his hands on the counter as he stared at the tea pot on the stove, “I can totally do this, right?  I mean, it can’t be that hard – just ‘So, I have been hiding this secret from everyone I have known for the past twenty-eight years… I’m gay.’ Right?  No harm done?” Harm asked rhetorically, his knuckles going white from the stress-grip he had on the counter top.

 

“Babe… You’re psyching yourself out, and stressing yourself out – Take a deep breath, and just relax.  You can do this, and believe me, when you do – You’re going to feel a whole hell of a lot better.  Do you trust me?” Tony asked, setting his hands firmly on Harm’s wrists and prying his fingers off the marble countertops.

 

Harm nodded as he turned around and looked down at Tony, “I do trust you, yes.” Harm said quietly, resting his head against Tony’s shoulder.

 

Tony nodded and rubbed his hand up and down Harm’s back lovingly “Then you can do this… Now come on, the tea and coffee are both ready.” Tony said nudging Harm’s head off his shoulder, grabbing the two pies and walking gracefully into the living room.

 

Harm shook his head as he grabbed a serving tray and settled the plates and silverware, cups and tea pot and coffee pot on the top of the tray.  Taking a deep breath, Harm squared his shoulders, grabbed the tray and headed into the living room.

 

* * *

 

 

 

Harm nervously shifted on the couch, rubbing his hands against his jeans, staring blankly across the room, “Okay…” Harm said, taking a deep breath as he looked over at Harriet and Bud.

 

Harriet frowned and shook her head slowly “Harm, if you do not feel comfortable telling us, you don’t have to… We – or at least I – would understand completely.” Harriet said fondly as she reached over, patting Harm’s hand lightly.

 

Harm shook his head slowly, “No, no… I need to do this, Harriet.  I appreciate it, but this has to be done, and I have to come by myself honestly.” Harm said as he stood up, clearing his throat as he began pacing back and forth in front of the coffee table, “I’ve been harboring a secret for nearly all of my life… I uhm… The reason why I invited you both here… The reason why Tony and I have matching tattoos… Is because he’s my partner, lover… boyfriend… whatever you want to call it… I’m gay.” Harm stated, continuing to pace back and forth on the hardwood floors.

 

Harriet smiled as she stood up, crossing over to Harm and wrapping him up in a comforting embrace “Harm, there is nothing to be worried about.  We wouldn’t judge you for being truthful with who you are.  Thank you for being honest.” Harriet said, leaning up and kissing Harm softly on the cheek, then turning and looking at Bud, who was still wide-eyed, mouth wide open as he stared between his wife and Harm.  Harriet shook her head “He will get over the shock, don’t mistake his silence as unsupportive, you know how he is with big news.” Harriet said as she looked up at Harm and patted his cheek lightly.

 

Harm nodded as he hugged Harriet warmly “Thank you Harriet.  Your support and love means everything to me.” Harm said, holding onto Harriet’s hands lightly as he bent down and kissed her cheek “Now if I could just get everyone else in the world to understand my decision…” Harm said ruefully as he released Harriet and returned to the couch, sitting next to Tony and snuggling into his side, closing his eyes lightly.

 

Ducky stood up from the recliner and yawned “I do believe that this is our cue to leave.  Harmon, Anthony I hope you enjoy the rest of your evening… We will see ourselves out.” Ducky said, ushering the abnormally silent Bud, and giddy, smiling Harriet out of the house, “Jethro, come now, the boys need to get their rest.” Ducky called over his shoulder.

 

Gibbs rolled his eyes as he slowly stood up, looking over at Harm who was curled into Tony’s chest, and Tony who had his arms wrapped around Harm, gently caressing his lover “We’ll be fine, thank you for coming tonight Jethro.” Tony said softly, smiling reassuringly up at Gibbs.

 

Gibbs nodded as he bent over, kissing the top of both men’s head affectionately “I’ll see you guys later, don’t get into too much trouble.” Gibbs said with a wink as he squeezed both men’s shoulders lovingly and then headed for the open door where the Scotsman was waiting impatiently.  Gibbs grinned sheepishly, earning a swift head-slap from the older gentlemen “Ow!  Duck-…” Gibbs protested, pulling the door behind him and effectively silencing the rest of the parental lecture coming from Ducky as the two men left the apartment.

 

* * *

 

 

Tony frowned as he came into the bedroom, looking at Harm curled up on his side in the bed, the only light in the bedroom coming from the street lamp below the window.  Tony sighed as he walked into the attached bathroom and grabbed a wash cloth, wetting it with cold water, he walked back into the bedroom and laid the folded cloth on Harm’s forehead.

 

“Are you okay, Honey?” Tony asked softly as he rubbed up and down Harm’s side slowly.

 

Harm nodded slowly, sniffling slightly “Yes… I will be, just a stressful night…” Harm whispered, his voice rasped and deeper than normal.

 

Tony sighed as he reached up, setting his hand against Harm’s forehead, feeling the slight fevered heat radiating off his lover’s skin “You’ve got a migraine.” Tony said quietly, his frown deepening as he gently ran his hand up and down Harm’s side again.

 

Harm nodded again, wincing slightly “Yeah… It’ll… it’ll pass, it’s not so bad…” Harm said quietly, his voice strained as he turned further onto his side, dry heaving slightly.  Tony quickly got up and grabbed the waste can from the bathroom, returning to Harm’s side.  Harm breathed out shakily, head hovering over the waste can as he expelled a great portion of his dinner from earlier in the evening.

 

Tony sighed as he rubbed up and down Harm’s back as the taller man laid back down on the bed on his stomach, holding his head between his hands, “It’s okay… I’m right here… Go to sleep, Harm.” Tony said quietly as he walked back into the bathroom, grabbing the needleless injector from the medicine cabinet.  When Tony returned to the bedroom, Harm was still in the same position, with the pillow over his head now, Tony sighed as he snapped the tip off the applicator, then carefully pressed it to Harm’s thigh, injecting the medication against his flesh.

 

Harm mumbled slightly, pulling the head off his pillow “Thank you.” Harm whispered, dropping the pillow back over his head as he tried blocking out all the sounds and light surrounding them.

 

Tony sighed as he pulled the blackout curtains closed, then took his clothes off, crawling into the bed beside Harm, gentle hands massaging up and down Harm’s spine as the taller man’s breathing slowly evened out.  Eventually both men fell asleep, Tony taking longer as he kept his ministrations up until his hand went numb from the movement.


	5. The Fight

The pounding on the front door made Harm groan loudly, he tried rolling off the bed, only to find himself pinned to the mattress by Tony’s body sprawled out on top of him.  Harm yanked the sheet off Tony’s bare body, and chuckled quietly as Tony shivered slightly from the loss of heat on his back, trying to burrow himself deeper into Harm’s chest.

 

“Babe c’mon… Someone is at the front door.” Harm said, reaching his hand down and slapping Tony sharply on the ass.

 

Tony grunted and rolled off Harm’s chest “Dick.” Tony grumbled as he pulled the sheets back over his body, burrowing himself in the mattress and warm sheets.

 

“Yeah, thought you loved my dick?” Harm asked, grinning wickedly – the knocking on the door getting increasingly louder – Harm sighed “I’M COMING!” Harm shouted as he stood up from the low platform bed and pulled on a pair of lounge pants, shuffling across the hardwood floors of his loft.

 

Harm yanked the steel door open angrily, his eyes falling on the person whom chanced waking him up “MAC!” Harm squeaked, quickly covering his half-nude body with the bulky door, he glanced over his shoulder, noticing Tony scrambling out of the bed, sheets wrapped around his body as he ran into the bathroom.

 

“Can we talk?” Mac asked impatiently, staring up at Harm with a raised eyebrow.

 

Harm inhaled deeply, steeling himself “Yeah uh – give me a minute to get dressed!” Harm said, moving to shut the door, only to be stopped by Mac’s foot blocking the doorjamb and her hand on the steel.

 

“You don’t have to get dressed… It’s not like I haven’t seen you in less.”  Mac said, her voice dropping an octave as she stared at Harm’s bare chest, or at least of what she could see.

 

Harm shook his head, a loud sneeze echoed in the loft and Harm chuckled nervously “Just give me a minute, please?” Harm asked quietly.

 

Mac rolled her eyes, nodding reluctantly as she crossed her arms “Fine.” Mac said, her voice clearly indicating annoyance.

 

Harm nodded as he pushed the door shut and locked it, turning back towards the bedroom, he bounded up the steps and slid into the bathroom “You couldn’t have held the sneeze in?!” Harm hissed quietly, staring at Tony who was sitting on top of the toilet, still wrapped in the sheets.

 

“I’m sorry!  It’s not like I could have stopped the damn thing, believe me, I tried!  Twice!  But it wanted out!” Tony hissed back, standing up and poking Harm in the chest roughly “What the hell is she doing here anyway?  I thought your blow-out with her three weeks ago would deter her from chasing after you?!” Tony asked, crossing his arms over his chest, the sheets dropping from his body and pooling around his bare feet.

 

Harm shrugged as he leaned down, picking up the sheets, kissing up Tony’s thigh and hip softly “I don’t know _why_ she is here, but I intend to find out… And if worse comes to worse, I will tell her the truth.  Stop her chasing once and for all.” Harm stated as he stood back up to his full height, draping the sheets over Tony’s shoulders.

 

Tony sighed as he kissed Harm softly on the lips “Hurry up and go put on a shirt… One that preferably will cover your arm and chest…” Tony said, tracing his fingers lightly across the black dragon tattoo on Harm’s chest.

 

Harm nodded as he kissed Tony chastely then turned back to the bedroom, he grabbed a black turtleneck and pulled it down over his body, then headed back to the door.  Inhaling deeply, Harm wrapped his hand around the door, flipped the deadbolt and pulled the door open “Please… Come in.” Harm said as cordially as possible.

 

Mac walked into the loft, looking around briefly, her eyes lingering on the bed briefly, taking note of the missing sheet and wrinkled fitted sheet.  Harm patiently waited, his hand still wrapped around the door handle “So, are you going to tell me the truth?  Tell me why the hell you all of a sudden decided that you just _needed_ to resign?!” Mac near shouted, her eyes now locked on the tall man still leaning heavily against the door.

 

Harm closed his eyes, shaking his head slowly, “I already told you Mac – It’s personal, and I _don’t_ feel like discussing it!  Why won’t you just accept the fact that I’m moving on with my life?!  I’m ready for something new, settle down, have an actual life, with a family – before I’m too fucking old to do anything about it!” Harm shouted, anger seeping out through every pore of his body as he turned around, slamming the steel door shut.

 

Mac jumped slightly, staring at Harm with wide eyes, “We’re supposed to be best friends, Harm!  Why the hell are things in your life now so _personal_ that you can’t even tell me about them?!  And I’m not going to accept something that I just don’t understand!” Mac shouted back, tears of anger welling up in her eyes.

 

Harm exhaled heavily as he walked over to the breakfast bar, dropping down into the stool “Get out.” Harm said quietly, kneading his fists against his thighs.

 

“Harm… Please… just-…” Mac began, but was cut off by Harm standing up, his fist slamming down into the countertop “GET OUT!” Harm shouted, pointing towards the steel door.

 

“Harm I-…” Mac started again, but was again cut off by another voice, “He said get out, now please, get out before you’re arrested for trespassing.” Tony said firmly, sheet tied around his waist as he stood on the top step to the bedroom.

 

Mac blinked a few times, looking between Tony and Harm with wide eyes.  Harm shook his head as he stood up and walked towards the bedroom “I need a shower.” Harm said loudly enough as he walked past Tony “Please, get rid of her.” Harm whispered as he continued on to the bathroom.

 

* * *

 

 

For several silent minutes, Tony completely ignored Mac as he grabbed a pair of shorts and a T-Shirt out of the closet, dressing in them quickly then tossing the sheets onto the bed.  He hopped down the stairs and headed to the kitchen, pressing brew on the coffee pot then withdrawing Hazelnut creamer from the fridge, then grabbing the sugar from the cabinet.

 

“He doesn’t love you.” Tony stated coldly as he grabbed two coffee mugs from the drying rack, setting them right-side up next to the coffee pot.

 

“What the hell do you mean he doesn’t love me?  Of course he does!  He’s loved me for the past nine years!” Mac said indignantly, whirling around to face the brunette man who was easily walking around Harm’s apartment, as if he knew where everything was located.

 

“You’re delusional if you really think that.” Tony stated as he poured two mugs of coffee, doctoring one with hazelnut and sugar, and sugar in the other one, stirring both cups with the spoons “Harm!  Coffee’s ready!” Tony shouted in the direction of the bedroom.

 

Harm traipsed into the kitchen with a towel wrapped low around his waist, water droplets cascading down the hard planes of his body, “Thanks babe.” Harm said, grinning as he kissed Tony on the lips, taking the coffee from his lover’s hands and heading back towards the bathroom.

 

Tony turned with his own coffee in his hands, sipping slowly on the hazelnut infused coffee, “So… Do you still believe he loves you?” Tony asked curiously, twisting the coffee cup in his hands slightly.

 

“This has to be some kind of practical joke!  Yes… That’s what it is!  It’s a joke!  All of this is a joke!” Mac said, a small laugh escaping her lips as she looked around the room.

 

Harm shook his head as he walked back out of the bedroom, now dressed in a pair of shorts.  Staring directly at Tony, he sighed and shook his head again “This obviously isn’t getting through her skull, Tony…” Harm stated as he continued walking over to Tony, a slow smile spreading across his face.

 

Tony shrugged helplessly as he set his coffee cup down on the counter, “Then I guess we have to let it all out, huh?” Tony asked, a crooked smile on his face.  Harm nodded as he closed the distance between him and his lover, their arms encircling one another and lips pressing together, a slow and tender kiss sparked between them, until Harm turned Tony’s body and pressed him against the counter, one leg going between the shorter man’s thighs, Tony whimpered and grasped onto Harm’s biceps, grinding against Harm’s leg.

 

Mac stared at the two men wide-eyed in shock, her hands trembling as she watched the men practically devour one another.  Mac was broken out of her reverie when Tony moaned into Harm’s mouth and was hoisted up onto the counter, both men having completely ignored Mac’s precsence.  Mac shook her head and quietly left the apartment, head hung low and tears in her eyes.

 

* * *

 

 

Harm’s lips moved from Tony’s lips down his neck slowly, Tony moaned, his head falling back against the cabinet, giving Harm more access to him “Harm… M-m-m… Harm!” Tony moaned, his entire body vibrating with desire.

 

Harm grinned as he nibbled down Tony’s neck “Yeah baby?” Harm asked huskily, his fingers deftly pulling Tony’s shirt up and over his head, tossing it behind him, lips caressing down Tony’s chest slowly.

 

“She… she left.” Tony said breathlessly, writhing against the counter top as Harm latched onto a nipple and began tenderly sucking on it.

 

“Mhm… That’s good.” Harm mumbled against Tony’s chest as he wrapped his arms around Tony’s thighs, lifting the brunette up against his chest, walking his way to the bedroom with Tony in his arms.

 

Tony squeaked excitedly as he was tossed into the mattress, looking up at Harm who was standing at the foot of the bed, “Gonna just stand there?” Tony asked softly, his eyes traveling Harm’s bare chest.  Harm shook his head as he popped the button on his shorts, letting them fall to the floor then slowly crawling up the bed, leaving a trail of kisses up Tony’s legs, stomach, and chest until his face was inches from Tony’s.

 

“Love you babe.” Harm whispered, kissing Tony gently on the lips.  Tony nodded as he slipped his arms around Harm’s neck, holding him as they continued kissing, their bodies grinding into one another.

 

Tony gasped softly, his bottom lip trembling as he arched upward into Harm’s body, “Fuck me…” Tony whispered huskily, writhing restlessly against the bed.

 

Harm grinned as he slid his hand underneath the pillow and grabbed the bottle of lube, “You’re a little overdressed for that, sweetheart.” Harm said, dropping the lube on the bed, he pushed up to his knees, he pulled Tony’s shorts off, tossing them over his shoulder.  “Turn over.” Harm said, slapping Tony’s thighs lightly.

 

Tony nodded as he turned over onto his stomach, resting his arms underneath his head.  Harm grinned as he gently slapped both of Tony’s firm globes, causing the younger man beneath him to wriggle and moan out.  Harm moved to lay down on his stomach, spreading Tony’s ass wide and diving in, tongue darting out and probing Tony’s rectum.

 

Tony gasped loudly, nearly jumping off the bed from the sudden intrusion of Harm’s tongue “Oh goddddd!” Tony moaned out, his body writhing against the bed, his hips pressing into the mattress and his fingers wrapping around the bottom of the metal headboard.  Harm grinned as he pushed his tongue deeper, grabbing the lube with one hand, he squirted it onto his fingers and then began pressing both his tongue and fingers into Tony.

 

“Oh _fuck!_ ” Tony shouted out in pleasure, bucking backwards against Harm’s mouth and fingers, “Harm… Harm… please-e-e-e!” Tony whined out, his body continuing to writhe and wiggle against the bed.

 

Harm chuckled as he pulled away, resting his chin in the cleft of Tony’s ass, “What do you want Tony?  Hmmm?” Harm asked, continuing to thrust his fingers gently into Tony, twisting and scissoring, the tips of his fingers pressing and massaging against Tony’s prostate.

 

Tony screamed into the mattress, his entire body arching off the bed, “Fuck! Please fuck me! Please please please!” Tony begged, clutching at the headboard tightly.

 

Harm smirked as he pushed himself up to his knees, grabbing the bottle of lube, squirting a generous amount into his palm and slowly rubbing it along his length “On your knees, come on.” Harm said as he slapped one of Tony’s ass cheeks a bit roughly.

 

Tony whimpered as he slowly pulled himself up onto his knees, Harm grabbed a pillow from the top of the bed, shoving it underneath Tony’s raised hips.  Tony turned his head, looking at Harm over his shoulder, Harm smiled and winked at Tony as he lined himself up, his hands slowly caressing up and down Tony’s backs, “Love you Harm.” Tony said softly.

 

Harm nodded as he pushed the head of his cock past the tight ring of muscles, both men moaning out from the connection, “Love you too, Tony.” Harm said as he leaned over Tony’s back, interlocking their fingers as he began thrusting slowly and deeply into Tony.

 

Tony lifted his head slightly, searching out Harm’s lips.  Harm smiled as he pressed his lips against Tony’s, a slow and sensual kiss ensuing as Harm picked up the pace slightly.  Tony gasped into the kiss, bucking himself backward into Harm’s cock, impaling the entire length into him.  Harm groaned as he ripped his lips away from Tony’s, pressing their hands into the mattress.

 

“Harder Harm… Please!” Tony begged, biting against the mattress.  Harm chuckled low in his throat, lifting himself up and grabbing onto Tony’s hips, he began thrusting harder into Tony’s body, gyrating his hips in circular motions with each thrust, causing Tony to scream out with each thrust as the head of Harm’s cock brushed his prostate.

 

* * *

 

 

After showering, again, and redressing, Harm and Tony stood side by side leaning against the counter, fresh mugs of coffee in their hands.  Harm sighed, staring into the cup of black, watching as the bubbles from stirring the sugar into his cup swirled around.

 

“You know she can’t do anything about your being gay, right?” Tony asked softly as he looked over at Harm’s forlorn expression.

 

Harm nodded solemnly “Yeah, I know.” Harm whispered as he sipped at his coffee, “I’m just a little… No, no… I’m _a lot_ pissed off at her.” Harm said, setting his coffee mug down on the counter, standing up straighter and turning to Tony “What the hell was she thinking?  I mean, she _knows_ me, or at least I thought she did – homosexuality aside – she KNOWS that I don’t joke around like that.  Not with people’s feelings!” Harm said, getting angrier every word he speaks.

 

Tony sighed as he set his mug down and grabbed onto Harm’s biceps, gently squeezing them “Breathe, Harm.” Tony instructed his irate lover.  Harm inhaled deeply, then let his breath out slowly, leaning his forehead against Tony’s, “You have a right to be pissed off at her, and she crossed a line by forcing your hand.  I know you didn’t want to out yourself to her like that, but it happened, and now it’s over.” Tony said as he gently rubbed down Harm’s arms, linking their fingers together.

 

Harm nodded against Tony’s head, inhaling shakily as he smiled slightly “You’re so good at this.” Harm whispered as he brought Tony’s hands around his waist, then laid his own arms around Tony’s shoulders, hugging the shorter man to his chest.

 

Tony chuckled softly, resting his head underneath Harm’s chin, “Good at what, babe?” Tony asked, running his hands up and down Harm’s bare back softly.

 

Harm grinned “Calm me down… Talk me off the ledge… Always being there for me.” Harm said, kissing his way across Tony’s forehead.  Harm smiled as he nuzzled into the side of Tony’s face, sighing contentedly.

 

Tony smiled as he kissed Harm’s cheek softly “I do it because I love you, and I’m good at it, because I think I was put on this world for that exact reason.” Tony said as he lifted his head and kissed Harm softly on the lips, “So, should we talk about the apartment…?” Tony asked, eyes sparkling as he looked into Harm’s eyes.


	6. Pre-Retirement Jitters

 

Harm sighed as he sat with his legs crossed, palms flat on his kneecaps and his eyes closed lightly as he breathed deeply, letting out the breath slowly.  Harm shook his head as he opened his eyes, staring at Tony who was sitting across from him in a similar position.

 

“It’s not working.” Harm said quietly, rubbing his palms against his thighs.

 

Tony chuckled quietly as he opened his eyes, “That’s because you’re not relaxing.  You have to relax Harm, or this will never work.” Tony said with a soft smile on his face.

 

Harm shook his head, sighing as he uncrossed his legs and stretched his legs out “I don’t think meditating is my relaxer, babe… I know this and yoga works for you, but running and boxing is more my thing.” Harm stated, shrugging his shoulders slightly.

 

Tony laughed as he uncrossed his legs and crawled over to Harm, kissing him softly on the lips “We already run four times a week, and you’re boxing with Sturgis every other Saturday… And yet, your stress levels are still through the roof.” Tony pointed out as he sat between Harm’s spread legs.

 

Harm shrugged as he set his hands on Tony’s knees, “I’m sure after tonight everything will be back to normal… You know, it’s stressful being the center of attention when you’re not exactly used to it – And I mean out of the courtroom, I’m used to that sort of attention…” Harm stated as he laid down on the plush carpet, resting his hands behind his head.

 

Tony sighed as he crawled further up Harm’s body, lying down beside him and resting his hand over Harm’s heart, “Everything is going to be alright Harm, this is the last time you have to wear the uniform, and all of our friends will be there, and you know that everyone supports you, and loves you, unconditionally.” Tony said softly, tracing his finger around the dragon tattoo on his chest.

 

Harm closed his eyes as he ran his fingers through Tony’s hair lightly, “Pack a bag of clothes, because _after_ the dining out, we are going to _Destiny_ afterwards… Dining out party should end around nine or ten…” Harm said softly.

 

Tony giggled as he lifted his head up, looking down at Harm with wide, and excited eyes “Really?  You actually want to go clubbing tonight?!” Tony asked, his tone equally excited.

 

Harm laughed as he nodded his head, “Yeah, I really do.  And… I know exactly what I want you to wear too!” Harm said, bouncing up to his feet rather quickly as he slid across the hardwood floors towards the bedroom.

 

Tony lifted up on his elbows, laughing as he watched Harm slip and slide on his socks into the bedroom “TONY!  Come on!!!” Harm shouted from the bedroom excitedly.  Tony groaned as he pushed himself up to his feet and headed into the bedroom, laughing as he watched Harm dig through the closet stuffed full of their clothes.

 

“We _really_ need to look into a new apartment…” Tony said with a sigh as he joined Harm in the closet, shoving a few errant suits out of the way.

 

Harm nodded as he pulled a pair of black skinny jeans off the rack, laying it over his forearm, “I know… I know!  I have an appointment with a realtor this week.” Harm said, flipping through Tony’s shirts, “Leather or mesh?” Harm asked, holding up a leather tie-up vest and a mesh tank-top.

 

Tony tilted his head to the side, “Le-… No!  Mesh.  Definitely mesh, keep much cooler that way.” Tony stated, then sighed as he leaned against the doorjamb “When were you going to tell me about this appointment?” Tony asked, raising his eyebrow.

 

Harm shrugged as he slung the mesh tank-top over his arm and grabbed a pair of Tony’s newer sneakers, “I forgot about it until you mentioned it… It’s not like I was holding out on you or anything, it just slipped my mind.” Harm said, grabbing a backpack off the top shelf and shoveling Tony’s clothes into it.

 

Tony rolled his eyes as he grabbed a pair of tight black jeans and royal blue tank-top of Harm’s, setting them in the back, “You should have told me when you _got_ the appointment… That’s the whole point Harm!  We’ve been trying to find a place for _six months_ , and… and… UGH!  Forget it!” Tony shouted, throwing his hands up in frustration and walking out of the bedroom and back into the living room.

 

Harm sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as he walked towards the bathroom, “Oh… Oh hell no!” Harm said, dropping the backpack on the counter and walking into the living room “I _did_ try and tell you about it!  I remember now!  You were busy on a case, I called you _twice_ and texted you the information!  I never got a response back, to the calls OR the text!” Harm argued, pointing an accusatory finger at Tony.

 

“Seriously?!  During a _case_ Harm?!  That’s when you decide it’s the best time to drop that on me?!  When you _know_ damn well I don’t check my messages!” Tony retorted, standing toe-to-toe with Harm now.

 

Harm looked down at Tony and shook his head, “I can’t deal with this right now… I’m going to head back to the loft and get ready for tonight.” Harm stated, turning and walking out of the apartment, slamming the door behind him as he left.

 

Tony stared at the door, his hands shaking with anger and fear “FUCK!” Tony screamed as he collapsed onto the couch, hugging a pillow close to his chest as he let out a ravenous roar into the pillow.

 

* * *

 

 

*!* Tony’s Perspective *!*

 

After thirty minutes of lying on the couch, with silent sobs and tears running down Tony’s face, he finally got up, grabbed his keys and jacket.  Tony sighed heavily as he went into the bathroom, seeing the still opened backpack on the counter, he shook his head and packed the ‘Clubbing Kit’ into the bag and slung it over his shoulder, then quickly wiped his face off and headed out of the apartment.

 

Tony walked into Gibbs’ house, dropping his keys on the table “Gibbs!?” Tony called out, walking through the house, arms wrapped around his chest.

 

“Basement!” Gibbs shouted from his location.  Tony nodded as he quickly made his way down to the basement and sat down on the bottom step, staring at the concrete floor.  Gibbs turned away from the boat and looked over at Tony “What’s wrong?” Gibbs asked, setting his tools down and walking over to Tony, sitting down beside him.

 

Tony shook his head, leaning over and lying his head on Gibbs’ shoulder “Harm and I got into a fight…” Tony whispered sadly, sniffling slightly as the tears started welling up again.

 

“You got into a fight?  What about?” Gibbs asked as he wrapped a comforting arm around Tony’s shoulder, holding the younger man against him.

 

“Finding a new apartment of all things… Seems like it’s the only thing we _can’t_ agree on is this apartment thing…” Tony said quietly, twisting a frayed end on his jeans.

 

Gibbs sighed as he reached over, removing Tony’s hand from his jeans “Tony, have you actually _talked_ to him about it?” Gibbs asked, looking at the younger man.

 

Tony shook his head slowly, “Not recently.  When we decided we wanted to move in together six months ago, we talked about it for about the first two months, figured out everything we wanted… Then work kept getting in the way… Then, all of a sudden he’s all ‘well I have an appointment this week’ and I’m like…” Tony sighed, shaking his head as he drew a shaky hand through his hair, silent tears slipping down his cheeks.

 

Gibbs frowned as he hugged Tony tightly, kissing the top of his head, “Hey, hey it’s okay T.  You just _need_ to talk to him – Perhaps _before_ the party tonight?” Gibbs suggested, brushing the tears off Tony’s cheeks with his thumb.

 

Tony nodded as he slowly stood up, “You’re right… He and I definitely need to talk about this, and not fight about it.” Tony said confidently, inhaling deeply “Thanks… dad.” Tony said softly, looking at Gibbs with shining eyes.

 

Gibbs chuckled as he stood up, hugging Tony warmly, “Anytime, son.” Gibbs said, kissing Tony’s forehead gently “Now go on, get out of here, I have a party to get ready for.” Gibbs said, pushing Tony towards the stairs.

 

* * *

 

 

Tony ran up the stairs to Harm’s loft, coming to a skidding halt in front of the door, Tony banged on the door, anxiously jumping on the balls of his feet as he waited.

 

Harm sighed as he walked to the door, pulling it open and raising an eyebrow “Why did you knock?” Harm asked, frowning slightly.

 

Tony frowned, looking down at the ground “I… I… thought we could talk?” Tony questioned, inhaling shakily.

 

“No I mean, why didn’t you just come in?  And yeah, we can talk…” Harm said as he opened the door fully, letting Tony into the apartment.

 

Tony quickly walked in, “I’m sorry.  I should have paid more attention to the messages you left me!” Tony blurted out quickly, looking up at Harm with watery eyes.

 

Harm pushed the door shut with his foot and wrapped Tony up in his arms, “No… I’m sorry Tony, I should have kept better track of my schedule…” Harm said as he brushed his thumb across Tony’s cheek.

 

Tony nodded as he leaned into Harm’s body, “We have to talk about this Harm, like _really_ talk about it.” Tony said quietly, walking backwards with Harm towards the couch.

 

Harm chuckled as he pushed Tony down onto the couch, then leaped on top of him, snuggling in close “Okay, so I should have written it down on the calendar instead of leaving you messages.  I’m an idiot, and I fully accept that about me.” Harm said, kissing Tony’s forehead softly.

 

Tony laughed as he turned Harm and his body over, lying on top of Harm now, “You’re not an idiot, you just forget things, sometimes.  Do you still have our list of requirements for the new apartment?” Tony asked, nuzzling his head underneath Harm’s chin.

 

Harm nodded as he wrapped his arms around Tony, “Three bedrooms, gourmet kitchen, large master bathroom… Hardwood floors throughout, modern appliances.  Yep, I have the list, and I have it memorized.” Harm said as he kissed the top of Tony’s head.

 

Tony giggled as he pulled himself up, hovering inches above Harm’s face, “So, we’ll meet with the realtor this week?  And we will find our _perfect_ place?” Tony asked excitedly, Harm nodded and grinned as he kissed Tony softly on the lips.

 

“Of that, I have no doubt.” Harm said confidently, turning their bodies over again and kissing Tony softly along the jawline, “I love you Tony.  Don’t like fighting with you.” Harm said quietly, laying his head against Tony’s shoulder.

 

Tony nodded “I don’t like fighting with you either papa.” Tony said quietly, wrapping his legs around Harm’s back and holding his lover close “Love you too much, Harm.” Tony whispered, gently rubbing up and down Harm’s back, both men falling asleep in that position.

 

* * *

 

 

Harm woke with a start around seven, “Holy shit!  Tony!” Harm near shouted, falling off the couch and onto the floor, bringing Tony down with him.

 

“What the hell?!” Tony shouted, sitting up and looking down at Harm with a freaked out expression on his face.

 

“We’re late… I’m late… The party!  Fuck fuck fuck!” Harm exclaimed, quickly sliding out from underneath Tony’s body and running into the bedroom.

 

Tony shot up to his feet and followed Harm into the bedroom “Okay… No, we’re not late, but we will be.” Tony said, pulling his black Armani suit out of the closet.

 

Harm shook his head “I’m so dead, I _cannot_ believe we slept so long!” Harm growled as he pulled his dress uniform out of the closet and looked it over briefly, making sure all the medals were in the correct place.

 

Harm and Tony both got into the shower quickly, helping each other clean one another, and trading gentle kisses throughout their shower, “Gonna be even later if we keep this up.” Harm admonished as he grabbed the shower head and sprayed them both down, soap and water running down the drain.

 

Tony shrugged as he stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist “They _can’t_ start without you, so who cares if we’re a few minutes late!” Tony said, giggling as Harm chased him into the bedroom.

 

Harm tackled Tony to the bed, kissing the back of his neck softly “I care if we’re a few minutes late, this is my retirement party!” Harm protested as he rolled of Tony, drying himself off quickly.

 

Tony quickly hopped off the bed, drying himself off, “Okay, so we won’t be late…” Tony said, laughing as he ran the towel over his hair, then tossed the towel into the bathroom, he grabbed his suit from its hanger, both men quickly changing into the clothes for the night.

 

Tony and Harm were dressed and out of the house within twenty minutes, “We’re so late… Of _all_ days, you had to have a bad hair day!” Harm griped, looking over at Tony’s wayward locks.

 

Tony laughed as he smoothed down his hair and sighed “I’m sorry!  I can’t control my hair!  It was fine… until we fell asleep on the couch and we took a shower.” Tony said while pulling the rear view mirror down, continuing to mess with his gel-slicked hairs to get them situated perfectly.


	7. Finally Retired!

Harm and Tony ran into the dining hall, quickly walking towards the back room where Harm was meant to wait.

 

AJ grabbed Harm by the upper arm “You’re late!  What the hell happened?” AJ asked, looking between the two younger men suspiciously.

 

Tony and Harm both laughed, shaking their heads “We fell asleep on the couch.  Didn’t wake up until we had an hour left to get ready.” Harm said, shrugging slightly.

 

AJ shook his head slowly “Alright well, you’re here now… That’s all that matters!” AJ exclaimed as he pushed Tony and Harm towards the entrance door.

 

“Is… Is Mac out there?” Harm asked hesitantly, turning to face AJ with a frown on his face.

 

AJ shook his head “No, haven’t you heard?  She requested an immediate transfer a couple of days ago… She’s moving back to Okinawa…” AJ informed him, his tone taking on a sad note.

 

Harm shook his head “Hadn’t heard.  We’re uhm… No longer friends.” Harm said quietly, shifting nervously on his feet.

 

“Oh… Okay, well… We will talk about it later!  We _have_ to get this party started before people start getting mad.” AJ said, turning back to the door and heading out to the long table.

 

Harm looked out as the swinging door opened and shut, “I don’t think I can do this… I mean, I know I want to retire – Well, I’m already retired – But… I can’t go out there Tony!  Why did I agree to this?!” Harm asked, turning back to Tony with wide eyes.

 

Tony sighed as he grabbed Harm by the lapels and shook his slightly “Calm down!  You can do this Harm, all you have to do is sit, drink, and enjoy the evening.  I will be there, right next to you, all night, I promise baby.” Tony said softly, gently caressing Harm’s cheek, “You so got this.” Tony whispered as he leaned in, kissing Harm softly on the lips.

 

Harm nodded, inhaling deeply as he kissed Tony back, “I love you troppo bello.” Harm said softly as he turned towards the door, interlocking his hand with Tony’s.

 

AJ stood at the table, lightly clinking his fork to his glass “Now presenting to you, Our President of the Mess and his Guest of Honor – Commander Harmon Rabb Junior and Partner, Anthony DiNozzo Junior.” AJ announced loudly.

 

A roaring of silverware clinking on glasses or tabletops erupted as Harm and Tony walked into the hall and took their seats, AJ turned to Harm, “Mr. President, the mess has been assembled.” AJ said, a soft smile on his face.

 

Harm nodded, “Thank you, Mr. Vice.” Harm said, turning to the gathered friends in the mess hall, “Color Sergeant!” Harm calls out, watching and waiting as the color guard walk into the room, and start off with presenting the colors.

 

Once the color guard left the room again, AJ cleared his throat “Guests, please remain standing for the invocation from Chaplain Turner.” AJ said, turning towards Chaplain Turner as the older gentleman stepped up to the podium.

 

“O Eternal God, we invoke your blessings on this ceremony, those who are participants, and those who are gathered here to witness the passing of the color.   As Commander Rabb comes to the end of his tenure, we look back and are thankful for his concern for his troops, for his example as a leader and for his loyalty to his superiors, his peers and his subordinates.  Lord, it has been a privilege working with him.  Thank you for allowing him to come our way.” Chaplain Turner said, turning towards AJ and receiving the nod of approval.

 

Turner nodded and smiled “We ask you to grant the next Commander, Lieutenant Bud Roberts, the gifts of wisdom, courage and strength.  May his time be one of blessing for him and for all our sailors.  May he always strive to assist every member of this unit to grow and develop so that each can be the person that you intended that one to be.  Amen.” Turner said, then turned to the POW/MIA table “May we please have a moment of silence to honor those who made the ultimate sacrifice for our freedom, Thank you.” Chaplain Turner said, then returned back to his seat.

 

Harm grabbed the gavel beside his hand, banging it on the table once, “Please, be seated.” Harm said as he and everyone else sat down in their chairs.

 

After a few seconds of silence, AJ turned towards Harm once again “Mr. President?” AJ questioned, smiling slightly as Harm turned towards him.

 

“Yes, Mister Vice?” Harm asked, raising an eyebrow slightly.

 

“I would like to request that the mess be opened.” AJ stated matter-of-factly, causing a few errant chuckles in the room.

 

Harm nodded as he turned back to everyone “Fellow officers, noncommissioned officers and guests, I declare that the mess is now opened.” Harm stated, inhaling deeply as he looked over at Tony, squeezing his lovers hand lightly, Tony smiled and winked at Harm.

 

* * *

 

 

After all traditions were completed, dinner had been finished, and the dance floor had been opened, Harm and Tony stood on the sidelines, watching as couples swirled around one another – friends that Harm has known for years.

 

“I feel like I’ve been ignored for most of the night…” Harm stated quietly, crossing his arms behind his back as he looked over at Tony.

 

Tony frowned slightly as he reached up and squeezed Harm’s shoulder affectionately “You don’t really want me to comment on that, do you?” Tony asked, just as quietly as Harm had been speaking.  Harm shook his head mutely, looking out at people he once called his friends “They just don’t understand Harm, if they knew who you were, none of this would matter.  People are set in their ways, especially those of whom are in the military.” Tony said softly as he laid his head against Harm’s shoulder.

 

Harm sighed as he shook his head “Maybe we should just leave… It’s my retirement party, and I’m not even wanted here…” Harm said, locking his eyes on the ground before him.

 

Gibbs shook his head as he stood behind Harm and Tony, he raised a hand and slapped Harm in the back of the head “Get your head out of your six, Harmon.  These people who are ignoring you?  Screw ‘em, they aren’t worth your time if they don’t accept you.  Get your ass out there and dance the night away with Tony and just enjoy his company, and those of you who _do_ accept you!” Gibbs said, pushing Harm and Tony out onto the dance floor.

 

Tony laughed as he grabbed onto Harm and whirled around into the center of the dance floor “Loosen up, relax and erase everyone except for me from your mind.  This is just you and me here.” Tony said quietly as he laid his arms over Harm’s shoulders.

 

Harm nodded as he slid his arms around Tony’s waist, “You’re right.  Just you and me…” Harm said softly, smiling as he and Tony slow danced around the ballroom floor, Harm cleared his throat as he began singing low enough for only Tony to hear;

 

_I lose control, because of you babe_

_I lose control, when you look at me like this._

_There’s something in your eyes, that is saying tonight_

_I’m not a child anymore, life has opened the door to a new exciting life._

_I lose control, when I’m close to you babe_

_I lose control, don’t look at me like this_

_There’s something in your eyes, is this love at first sight?_

_Like a flower that grows, life just wants you to know, all the secrets of life._

_It’s all written down in your lifelines_

_It’s written down inside your heart._

_You and I just have a dream_

_To find our love a place, where we can hide away._

_You and I were just made to love each other now, forever and a day._

_Time stands still when the days of innocence are falling for the night._

_I love you boy, I always will._

_I swear I’m there for you, till the day I die._

_You and I just have a dream_

_To find our love a place, where we can hide away._

_You and I were just made to love each other now, forever and a day._

Tony grinned as he cupped Harm’s cheeks, kissing him deeply and lovingly.  Harm sighed into the kiss, holding onto Tony’s back, swaying their bodies to the beat of the classical music, “Love you honey.” Harm whispered once their kiss came to a natural close.

 

Tony nodded as he rested his head against Harm’s chest, continuing to slow dance around the room “Love you too, babe.” Tony said softly, his fingers gently carding through the small hairs at the back of Harm’s neck, “Feeling better now?” Tony asked.

 

Harm nodded, kissing the top of Tony’s head “Singing and you in my arms always makes me feel better.” Harm said sincerely, resting his cheek on top of Tony’s head, “The night is almost over, this is the last song they play at these…” Harm informed him, glancing around the room at all the couples still on the floor.

 

Tony smiled against Harm’s chest “Do you still want to go to _Destiny_?” Tony asked curiously, glancing up at Harm briefly.

 

Harm shook his head “Not really, maybe another night?” Harm said questioningly as he carefully led Tony off the dance floor and sat down at one of the tables.

 

Tony crouched in front of Harm, “Headache?” Tony asked softly as he gently held onto Harm’s wrists, his thumbs covering the pulse points, he could feel the raging blood just beneath the surface.

 

Harm nodded slowly, “Yeah… I…” Harm covered his mouth quickly, glancing around the ballroom, “Tony…” Harm croaked underneath his hand.

 

Tony quickly stood up, glancing around the room “I’ll be right back… try and hold it babe.” Tony said as he ran from the room.  Dodging, jumping and sliding underneath or around people as he searched for something for Harm to throw up in.

 

“TONY!  I got it!” AJ shouted from down the hall, waving a metal trash can in his hand, then quickly moving back into the ballroom.  Tony whirled around and chased AJ back into the room, both men coming to a stop once they reached Harm, “Here, Harm.” AJ said as he set the trash can on the floor in front of Harm.

 

Tony quickly shed his suit jacket and – as best he could – hid Harm and the can as he leaned over it, losing the recently consumed dinner and beverages.  Once Harm had finished, Tony pushed the trash can underneath the table with his foot, and held out a glass of ice water to Harm “Feel a little better?” Tony asked quietly as he ran his hand up and down his lover’s back slowly.

 

Harm shook his head as he carefully sipped at the water “Not really… I’m ready to… to go home now…” Harm mumbled, swaying in his seat slightly.

 

* * *

 

** In the distance, people were gathered in small groups, staring at the sight before them “Shame that he had to get so drunk to enjoy the company of that other man… Obviously they aren’t really together…” one person said to another.

 

“How could they not be together?  Look at the way the younger boy is doting on him and helping him…” that person replied, a tone of disgust in their voice.

 

Gibbs overheard this conversation and stood up slowly, making his way to the oblivious couple “For starters – He’s _not_ drunk.  Harm suffers from migraines, if you were actually his friends, maybe you’d have known about that.  And yeah, they _are_ together – Have been for the past two years – So, if you got a problem with it, I think it’s time that you should leave!” Gibbs snapped, his arm quickly shooting out to point towards the doors.

* * *

 

 

Harm frowned as he stood up shakily, one arm around Tony’s shoulders and the other around AJ’s shoulders, “Really… sorry about this, Admiral.” Harm said shakily as the three men side-stepped towards the exit.

 

AJ shook his head “Don’t apologize Harm, you didn’t do anything wrong… I think this is partially my fault, I shouldn’t have pushed you into doing a dining-out party…” AJ said as he grabbed his and Harm’s cover and kicked the door open.

 

As they stood and waited for Tony’s Corvette to be brought around, Harm leaned heavily against Tony, coughing slightly “No… I shouldn’t have gotten so stressed out about everything…” Harm said as he stumbled forward slightly, only to be pulled back by AJ and Tony.

 

Tony frowned as he rubbed Harm’s back slightly “Double vision?” Tony asked as he looked up at Harm’s cross-eyed expression.

 

Harm nodded, “Mhm… Lot of admirals, lot of Tony’s… Two corvettes…” Harm said, pointing towards the black corvette being stopped in front of them.

 

Tony chuckled softly as he opened the passenger door, “If I-… Never mind, technically we do have two corvette’s… Anyway…” Tony said as he – with the help of AJ – got Harm into the passenger seat and shut the door.  Tony turned to AJ and sighed “Really appreciate the hell, Admiral.” Tony said as he held his hand out to AJ.

 

AJ nodded as he shook Tony’s hand firmly “Just get my boy home, make sure he’s alright.” AJ said, a ghost of a sad smile crossing his features as he looked down at Harm.

 

Tony nodded as he quickly rounded the car and gracefully slid into the driver’s seat, then – with as much care as possible – tore out of the U-Shaped drive and hauled ass towards his apartment.

 

* * *

 

 

Harm shuffled into the bedroom with his jacket over his head as Tony quickly raced around the house to pull the curtains and shut off all the lights in the apartment.

 

Harm slowly peeled his uniform off and let the articles of clothing fall to the floor as he made his way to the bed, he slowly laid down, curling up onto his side near the edge of the bed.

 

When Tony walked in, he sighed as he picked up all of Harm’s clothes, dropping them into the hamper and then proceeded to get Harm’s medicine and a wet cloth and the garbage can.

 

Harm frowned as the cloth was placed on his head “I ruined another great evening.” Harm whispered as he turned over, losing more of his dinner in the waste bin.

 

Tony sighed as he placed the applicator to Harm’s thigh “It isn’t your fault Harm, and you know it…” Tony said as he carefully injected Harm with the medication and then tossed the applicator away, gently rubbing up and down Harm’s hip.

 

Harm sighed as he slowly turned onto his back “Someone is knocking on the door.” Harm whispered as he looked across the black bedroom, Tony raised an eyebrow until he heard the knocks get a little bit louder “Told you.” Harm said as he pulled the pillow over his head.

 

Tony shrugged as he stood up and headed towards the door.  Tony opened the door and stared blankly at Gibbs and Ducky “Ah, Anthony.  Jethro told me what happened tonight and thought I could be of some assistance to young Harmon.  He is in the bedroom, correct?” Ducky asked as he made his way into the apartment, Tony nodded mutely as he watched Ducky disappear down the dark hallway, then turned back to Gibbs with a raised eyebrow.

 

Gibbs shrugged as he walked in and pushed the door shut and then pushed Tony towards the living room, “I was standing by a couple who were bad-mouthing Harm and You… Put an end to that real quickly though.” Gibbs said as he pushed Tony down onto the couch.

 

Tony sighed as he cradled his head in his hands, “His migraines are getting worse, I’m truly afraid that there’s something more serious going on and he won’t listen to me about going to see a doctor… Not that that should surprise me, I mean… It’s me we’re talking about here.  Doctor Avoider of the year.” Tony stated quietly, glancing up towards the doorway to the bedroom.

 

Gibbs frowned slightly as he reached over and cupped Tony’s shoulder, “I’m sure if Ducky finds something out of the ordinary, he can convince Harm to go to see a doctor.” Gibbs said confidently as he relaxed on the couch and pulled Tony down with him, resting the younger man’s head against his own chest.

 

* * *

 

 

Harm slowly lifted the pillow off his head “Hey Ducky, what’re you doing here?” Harm asked quietly, his voice rough and scratchy.

 

“Came to check on you, my dear boy… I heard you had quite the night and I wanted to make sure that nothing was seriously wrong.” Ducky said softly as he sat down on the edge of the bed, “What are you currently experiencing?” Ducky asked as he reached a single hand up, feeling Harm’s forehead.

 

“Double vision, nausea, sensitivity to light, sound and smell.  Pain is radiating between my head, neck and upper back…” Harm informed the older gentleman.

 

Ducky nodded as carefully palpated Harm’s nasal area and cheekbones “Pain in your face as well?” Ducky asked, Harm nodded slowly “Have you considered, perhaps you should visit a doctor about this?  Your symptoms seem to have gotten worse from the last time you had a migraine.” Ducky said as he stood up and walked over to the closet.

 

“Doesn’t matter if I say no or not, you’re taking me, aren’t you?” Harm asked as he slowly shifted out of bed and towards his feet.

 

Ducky nodded as he pulled a pair of Harm’s sweats and a sweatshirt out of the closet “Quite right my boy, you need to see a specialist and you need to see one soon.” Ducky said as he walked back to the bedside, helping Harm into his sweatpants.

 

* * *

 

 

Ducky and Harm walked out of the bedroom – Harm with a slow shuffling gait – “We’re heading to Bethesda, he needs to see a medical professional.” Ducky informed everyone as he guided Harm slowly towards the door.

 

Tony and Gibbs shot up to their feet at the same time and followed Ducky out of the apartment “How come?  I mean, I know he’s got the migraine thing going on… but, why would he have to see a doctor about it?” Tony asked curiously as the four men boarded the elevator.

 

Ducky shook his head, “I do not believe that he is experiencing migraines, Anthony, I think there is something else going on… His symptoms seem to only have gotten worse since the last time he had a migraine when I was around.” Ducky stated as the four walked towards Harm’s SUV that was in the parking lot.

 

Harm frowned as he pulled himself up into the backseat of the SUV, Tony slid in next to him while Ducky and Gibbs took the front seats.  Harm slowly laid his head down in Tony’s lap, groaning quietly, Tony sighed as he gently ran his fingers through Harm’s hair, “Do you have any idea what might be wrong?” Tony asked as he looked into the front seat at Ducky.

 

Ducky sighed sadly, “Unfortunately not my dear boy, which is why we’re going to see a friend of mine at Bethesda, he’s a neurologist.” Ducky informed them, keeping his voice low.

 

Harm sniffled as he turned his head into Tony’s stomach, “What if it’s…” Harm shook his head, unable to finish his thought.

 

“Hey, don’t think negative babe.  You’re going to be just fine!” Tony said, sternly but quietly, frowning at the tears sinking into his shirt, Tony began humming and singing quietly in Italian to calm Harm down.


	8. What's Wrong With Me?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let it be known that I do not have a PhD in Neurology, I simply googled and used WebMD to diagnose Harm. If there are any mistakes or something is off kilter about the medical aspect of Harm's condition, oh well? Just please, whatever you do, don't sue me... I can't afford a lawyer, not even Harm! :(

Harm laid on the hospital bed, staring blankly up at the ceiling, Tony was lying beside him watching _The Notebook_ on the TV, sniffling softly.  Harm chuckled quietly as he looked at the top of Tony’s head, he reached up, and gently carded his fingers through his lover’s hair.

 

Tony looked up at Harm “Did I wake you?” Tony asked softly, pausing the movie on the TV.

 

Harm shook his head slowly “Nuh uh, I’ve been awake.  Still can’t believe you cry when you watch this movie.” Harm said teasingly, a genuine, loving smile on his face.

 

Tony shook his head “I wasn’t crying! I-… I… Okay so I was, what’re you going to do about it?” Tony retorted, snuggling back down against Harm’s chest.

 

“Absolutely nothing.  I love that you cry over movies like this.” Harm whispered sincerely as he took the remote from his leg and pressed play, watching the movie as they both returned to the game of ‘sit and wait.’

 

Right after the movie finished, Gibbs walked into the room with a cup of coffee in his hand, looking between the two grown men on the bed who were both crying and wiping at the tears that were riding down their cheeks “Uh… what happened?” Gibbs asked, squeezing his cup tightly in his hand.

 

Tony squeaked a little and sat up “Nothing!  Oh god!  Nothing happened!  We were… watching a movie.” Tony said, waving the remote at the TV helplessly.

 

Gibbs released his iron grip on his coffee cup and breathed a sigh of relief “Jesus!  You guys nearly gave me a heart-attack!” Gibbs growled as he sat down in the recliner next to the bed.

 

“Good thing we’re in a hospital then!” Tony teased as he tossed his and Harm’s tissues into the waste basket next to the bed.

 

The doctor came into the room, nodding at the three occupants in the room “Mr. Rabb, we have the result of your scans…” the doctor stated, hugging his metal clipboard to his chest, his eyes flicking between Gibbs and Tony.

 

Harm nodded slowly as he pulled himself up into a seated position “Well, then tell us?  I mean, unless I’m dying… If that’s the case then I’d rather not know about it.” Harm said, raising an eyebrow upward.

 

The doctor shook his head quickly “Oh no!  You’re not dying, no, no… I uhm… I just didn’t know if you’d want your visitors to hear the results or not…” The doctor said apologetically.

 

“I’d like for my boyfriend and future father-in-law to know, yes…” Harm stated pointedly, his eyebrow going even higher and hiding underneath the curve of his bangs.

 

The doctor nodded as he grabbed the metal stool and brought it over to the foot of the bed, then promptly sat down, flipping through the papers on his clipboard “Mr. Rabb, you have what is called Occipital Neuralgia.  This means that your optic nerve has been damaged in some way or is severely inflamed.  This condition is treatable, with a series of shots to your optic nerve.” The doctor informed the three men.

 

Harm bit his bottom lip back, looking between the doctor and Tony, “So, you don’t know _what_ caused it?” Harm asked curiously, slipping his hand into Tony’s hand and squeezing slightly.

 

The doctor shook his head slowly “There are several conditions that could might have caused the Neuralgia, but my medical opinion to the cause is all of the concussions you have suffered over the years.  Severe head trauma can exacerbate and irritate the nerves, which then cause the symptoms that you’ve been experiencing.” The doctor informed him, shifting the clipboard slightly on his lap.

 

Harm sighed as he rubbed the back of his neck slightly “And these shots are the only option?” Harm asked slowly, his brows knitting together.

 

The doctor shook his head “There is always surgery, but it is much riskier than the shots Mr. Rabb… It is brain surgery after all.” The doctor said, looking between Harm and Tony.

 

“And what are the chances?  Between getting these shots and surgery?  What are all the choices and options…? I… I’m not making any sense, but do you understand what I’m asking?!” Harm asked question after question frantically, looking at the doctor with slightly wild eyes.

 

The doctor laughed, nodding slowly “I do understand what you’re asking – The shot does not have a lot of guarantees, it could come back within weeks or months after the shots have been administered, and during the time between each shot, the symptoms could get progressively worse… There are two types of surgery you can go through, Microvascular Decompression, which means a neurosurgeon would go in and rearrange blood vessels that are pressing against the optic nerves.  Then there is Occipital Nerve Stimulation which means a doctor will apply a neurostimulator to the nerves that will deliver electrical pulses to the occipital nerves, which would help block the pain messages to your brain… This option isn’t recommended for many reasons, and one being, that it stops the pain from relaying to your brain, so while you won’t feel the pain, it will still be there, and that could cause even more damage to your occipital nerve.  Does this answer all of your questions?” The doctor asked kindly, a small smile on his face.

 

Harm nodded as he clenched and unclenched his hand around Tony’s hand several times, “Yes, thank you Doctor Camden.” Harm said quietly, tucking his head against Tony’s shoulder, “ ** _Get rid of him._** ” Harm whispered in Italian, looking up pleadingly at Tony.

 

Tony chuckled softly, kissing Harm on the tip of the nose “Can we have some time to discuss our options, Dr. Camden?  And process all of this information?” Tony asked as he rubbed soothingly up and down Harm’s back.

 

Camden nodded his head as he stood up, and pushed his stool back into the corner, “Yes, of course.  Take all the time that you need, just press the call button whenever you’re ready.  A nurse will page me.” Doctor Camden said as he walked out of the room.

 

* * *

 

 

Harm plucked at the cotton white blanket covering his legs, sighing noisily as he stared blankly across the room, “So, which do you think is the better option?” Harm asked quietly, looking between Tony, Gibbs and Ducky who had showed up after the doctor left.

 

“Harm, only you can make that decision… But… not matter what you decide, I’ll support your decision…” Tony said quietly, his eyes staying locked on the floor from where he stood across the room.

 

“I know it sounds terrible, but I really think surgery sounds like the better option… Logically I know that the shots are less dangerous, but you heard the doctor… I really don’t think I could survive the headaches getting worse, even if they get better in the end – and even then, they may not get better after all the shots…” Harm said, biting his bottom lip nervously.

 

“Harmon, like Anthony has said, we will support your decision, but you should really think long and hard about this.  Brain surgery is _very_ risky, even for a minor surgery such as optical nerve surgery.  You could be rendered blind if something were to go wrong.” Ducky said, his tone professional as he twirled his thumbs around one another.

 

Gibbs shook his head as he stood up, cupping Harm’s shoulder “I think you should do the surgery, Harm… This could be your only _true_ chance at relief.  The shots sound worse than anything that could happen during surgery…” Gibbs said as he looked directly into the younger man’s eyes.

 

Harm nodded as he patted Gibbs’ hand gently, “I need time to think it through… I just… I want to go home, can I go home?” Harm asked, looking between the three men whom he respected and loved like his own family.

 

Ducky stood up and patted Harm’s lower leg gently “I will go speak with Doctor Camden.” Ducky said as he left the room and pulled the door shut behind him.

 

Tony ran a ragged hand through his hair as he pushed away from the wall “ ** _Not that I’m trying to talk you out of it – But, why would you want to risk it Harm?  Blindness, even just partial blindness… You could die Harm, like… never coming back kind of dead…_** ” Tony rambled in Italian as he paced back and forth in front of Harm’s hospital bed.

 

“Tony… Tony… ANTHONY!” Harm shouted, throwing a box of tissues at Tony’s chest, Tony stopped pacing and talking as he turned to face Harm, bracing his hands on the foot of the bed “I understand what _could_ happen – But the chances are slim for blindness or death… But the chances of me getting better?  Those are a hundred to one in my books.” Harm stated, staring at Tony with sad, tear-filled eyes “I… I want relief Tony… I want… I want the pain to stop… Please…” Harm croaked out, holding his hand outward to Tony.

 

Tony sighed as he rounded the bed and took ahold of Harm’s hand, he sat gingerly on the edge of the bed, gently caressing the back of Harm’s hand with his thumb “I get it Harm… I do… I just… I don’t want to lose you.” Tony whispered hoarsely, looking up at Harm with tears in his own eyes.

 

Harm shook his head as he reached up, cupping Tony’s cheek and pulling the younger man closer, “You’re not going to lose me.  I’m tattooed on your heart.” Harm whispered as he kissed Tony passionately.

 

Tony whimpered as he clutched at the hospital gown, pulling Harm closer as the kiss deepened – neither man noticing that Gibbs walked out of the room – Tony gasped breathlessly as he pulled away from Harm, their foreheads touching gently “Ti amo papa.” Tony whispered as he nudged his nose against Harm’s softly.

 

“Ti amo troppo bello.  I promise that nothing bad will happen, and you know I don’t break my promises.” Harm assured him, kissing him softly on the lips and caressing his young lover’s cheek with his thumb.

 

Tony nodded as he wrapped his arms around Harm’s neck, sitting as closely as possible “I know babe, I know you don’t… And, if something happens to you during surgery, I _will_ kill you myself and have Abby hide all evidence.” Tony said softly but seriously as he brushed his thumb across Harm’s bottom lip.

 

* * *

 

 

After being discharged from the hospital, and with the surgery set up for two weeks from now, Harm and Tony went back to Gibbs’ house.  Gibbs sighed as he settled the two men on the couch and headed to the kitchen “What do you two want to drink?” Gibbs asked, looking over his shoulder at the two men who were clinging to each other for dear life.

 

“Nothing.” Harm replied hoarsely, his fingers shaking as he carded his hand through Tony’s hair slowly.

 

Gibbs sighed as he returned to the living room, sitting down between the two men on the coffee table, “Okay so… I know me and words don’t get along too well, but hear me out, okay?” Gibbs asked, looking between the two men, they both nodded and looked at Gibbs expectantly.  Gibbs took a deep breath “There is nothing, and I mean _nothing_ you two cannot get through together… You have two years of a relationship underneath you, longest relationship that both of you have ever sustained collectively.  You have been through three break-ups, seven million fights and god knows how many hospitalizations… But, you two are stronger together than apart, and you’ve both realized that… You can _both_ get through this, and you will have support from so many people, so, don’t let this destroy two years of amazing love and friendship.” Gibbs said, cupping both men’s shoulders and squeezing affectionately, “I love you boys, and if you _ever_ tell anyone about this little speech, I’ll deny it and kick both your asses to the ends of the earth.” Gibbs added, winking as he stood up and headed down to the basement.

 

Tony laughed as he laid his head against Harm’s shoulder, hugging the taller man around his waist and snuggling in close “Well… If he approves, then… I guess I have no choice but to approve as well.” Tony said as he looked up at Harm with a smile.

 

Harm chuckled as he leaned in, kissing Tony gently on the lips, “I want to get better, Tony… I want us to be able to get through a night without my head feeling like its on fire…” Harm said softly, tangling his fingers in the soft threads of Tony’s hair.

 

Tony nodded as he settled his legs over Harm’s thighs and snuggled closer “You’ve convinced me, stop trying so hard!” Tony said, laughing softly as he slapped Harm gently on the chest.

 

Harm grinned as he cupped Tony’s hand and held it over his heart, “Love you Tony.” Harm whispered against Tony’s temple then placing a soft kiss against his lover’s head.

 

Tony giggled as he wiggled his way into Harm’s lap, “Love you too, Harm.” Tony whispered as he set both hands against Harm’s neck and kissed him deeply and lovingly, his thumbs gently stroking over Harm’s adam’s apple.

 

Gibbs shook his head as he came back up the stairs, looking at his boys, “If you two are going to do that, could you _at least_ do it in the privacy of a bedroom?  Jesus Christ.” Gibbs growled half-heartedly as he walked into the kitchen and grabbed a new bottle of bourbon.

 

Harm and Tony both laughed as they looked over at Gibbs.  Gibbs stared back and shrugged his shoulders, nodding towards the stairs leading to the second story of the house.  Harm grinned as he wrapped his arms around Tony’s back and lifted the younger man up, carefully making his way up the stairs and into the guest bedroom.


	9. I'll Love You, Always.

The two weeks leading up to the surgery were busy for Tony and Harm, between searching for the right apartment – Which they found – Tony having back-to-back cases and Harm who was preparing for his new job at the District Attorney’s office.

 

Harm sat cross legged on the hospital bed with Tony in front of him – Both men were reluctantly alone – Harm reached over and threaded his fingers through Tony’s, “Tony… If I get through this… Can we talk about having a kid?” Harm asked softly, his bottom lip trembling slightly.

 

Tony sighed quietly “Yeah babe, we can talk about having a kid.  Hell, if you get through this, maybe we’ll even talk about two.” Tony said as he leaned in, kissing Harm gently on the lips.

 

“You’re teasing me… How terrible of you, I’m on my way into super dangerous surgery!” Harm teased as he ran his hand up from Tony’s arm to the side of his neck, “But, are you serious?  I mean… You and me, having a kid together?” Harm asked, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth.

 

Tony nodded as he brushed his hand over Harm’s forehead lightly “Yeah babe, I’m serious… We’ll talk about it.” Tony said softly as he turned around in the bed and laid back against Harm’s chest, “Except, how are we going to do it?  Neither of us can get pregnant, at least I hope not…” Tony asked, looking up at Harm.

 

Harm laughed as he wrapped his arms around Tony’s chest, kissing Tony on the side of his head “There are two options available to us… Adoption or finding a surrogate… Problem with finding a surrogate though is that, one of us would have to be the donor… And that might cause a lot of fights, not to mention choosing one…” Harm said as he laid back in the bed, pulling Tony with him.

 

Tony shook his head as he turned over, pressing his elbows into the mattress to look up at Harm, “Doesn’t have to be a fight about who donates, Harm… We could both do it, when the time is right… Two kids, one with your DNA and one with my DNA.  As for the surrogate… I know _a lot_ of women who would be good for the task.” Tony said, smiling slightly as he caressed Harm’s chest softly.

 

Harriet giggled as she walked around the privacy curtain “There is no chance in hell I’ll let either of you have a kid without my help!” Harriet stated adamantly as she pulled the metal doctor’s stool over and sat down, cupping both men’s hands.

 

Harm and Tony both looked at Harriet “Harriet, we couldn’t… I mean… You already have four children!  That… it…” Harm sighed as his words failed him, looking towards Tony for help.

 

“Shush, both of you!  I am offering my… services, to both of you.  I of course would have to talk to Bud about this… But, I want you two to have everything you ever want in life… and, I’m still in the prime of my life, Harm, Tony… Let me give this gift to you, for whenever you’re ready.” Harriet said sincerely, squeezing the men’s hands affectionately.

 

Tony smiled brightly as he rolled off the bed and picked Harriet up into a warm bear hug “You’re the best, Harriet!” Tony exclaimed as he kissed her cheek.

 

Harriet squeaked with laughter as she hugged Tony back, “I know!  And I meant it… I want to help you through this…” Harriet said as she was set back to the floor, looking between the men.

 

The doctor walked into the room and past the privacy current, an apologetic look on his face “It’s time for the surgery, Mr. Rabb.” The neurosurgeon informed him.

 

Harm nodded as he inhaled deeply, holding his hand outward to Tony.  Tony quickly grabbed Harm’s hand, their foreheads coming together as they shared a passionate kiss, “Love you Harm.” Tony said softly as he pressed his hand against the tattoo on Harm’s chest, gently rubbing at it.

 

Harm sniffled slightly as he pressed his hand against Tony’s chest, gently rubbing at his tattoo as well “Love you more, Tony.  Wait for me?” Harm asked, looking into his lover’s eyes.  Tony nodded as he kissed Harm again, and continued kissing him as a team of nurses came into the room and got the gurney ready for movement.

 

“Mr. DiNozzo, you have to let him go.” The doctor said, cupping the younger man’s shoulder and carefully extracting him away from Harm.  Tony nodded as he bit back his bottom lip, watching as Harm was wheeled out of the room and down the hall.

 

* * *

 

 

Tony paced in front of the surgical bay doors, his hands stuffed deeply into his jeans and his mouth moving a mile a minute but no sound escaping as he walked back and forth.

 

Harriet, Bud, Gibbs and Ducky all sat in the waiting room, watching as Tony continued pacing and then glancing at the door every time a doctor would come out, “We should really do something.” Bud stated quietly.

 

Gibbs nodded as he slowly stood up and walked over to Tony “Tony… Hey… Tony… Damn it!  DiNozzo!” Gibbs barked, grabbing the younger man by the shoulders.

 

“Huh?  Oh… Uh… Sorry… I’m just…” Tony waved his hand helplessly, looking up at Gibbs with worried eyes.

 

Gibbs sighed as he pulled Tony over to the awful seat and set him down, “I know… But it’s _only_ been an hour Tony.  The doctor said it could take two to three hours, maybe more… You don’t need to be pacing the floor for three hours.  Just relax.” Gibbs said as he stared the younger man in the eyes.

 

Tony nodded as he pulled his legs up onto the couch, hugging his legs to his chest and sighing noisily “Harm wants to have kids.” Tony whispered as he looked down at Gibbs with a slight smile on his face.

 

Gibbs laughed happily as he stood up and sat down beside Tony “That’s great T.  That’s really great.  What do you want?” Gibbs asked softly, running a soothing hand up and down Tony’s spine.

 

Tony grinned as he lifted his head slightly “I think I’d like to have… well, both… a boy and a girl.  But, if I could… I think a little boy would be great…  I can just see him now… Blue eyes, blonde hair that will eventually turn black… He’ll look exactly like Harm.” Tony said softly, sighing as he plucked at a frayed end on his jeans.

 

Gibbs smiled as he kissed Tony on top of his head softly “I can see you raising two little boys better than I can see you raising a girl and a boy… Especially a girl… With you and Harm’s tempers mixed together?  That girl will never have a chance to grow up the way a girl should.” Gibbs said quietly, inhaling shakily as he leaned back in the couch.

 

Tony frowned as he leaned back, resting his head against Gibbs’ shoulder “I didn’t…” Tony started, but Gibbs shook his head and tapped Tony sharply on the head “Don’t worry about it T, I know you didn’t.” Gibbs told him, “So… How would you guys go about it?” Gibbs asked curiously.

 

“Harm and I actually managed to agree on that pretty quickly… We want to go the surrogacy route.” Tony stated as he looked up and glanced around the room “I briefly contemplated asking Kate, but… Our friendship is so rocky sometimes, I don’t think I could ever survive her being pregnant… Then, I considered Abby, and I know she’d be thrilled to do it, but that would complicate her doing work in the lab, considering all the things she works with… I don’t want to risk her happiness…” Tony said as he glanced at the floor, sighing quietly.

 

“That’s when I offered to help them.” Harriet said, grinning shyly as she looked between the four men sitting around her.

 

Bud’s eyes went wide as he stared at his wife “Harriet!  Wow!  I… You’re so amazing… But, do you think you could do it?  I mean, with the stress of our four kids and adding a pregnancy on top of that?” Bud questioned, grasping his wife’s hand in his.

 

Harriet giggled as she kissed her husband softly on the cheek “Oh Bud, of course I know I can do it.  Sure, it’ll be a little tough with four kids running around, but I’m sure that Tony and Harm aren’t looking to have kids right this very second… And besides, I just had Nikki and Aaron, so my body still has to recuperate.  And, if I ever need some time away from the house, I’m sure Harm and Tony will _gladly_ babysit for us.” Harriet said, winking as she looked between her husband and Tony.

 

* * *

 

 

After nearly three hours of waiting and worrying, Harm’s surgeon walked out of the surgical bay, pulling his mask and head cover off.  He inhaled deeply as he walked over to the waiting family that had grown from just the four to now include Kate, McGee, AJ, and Abby.

 

Tony quickly shot up to his feet as soon as the doctor stood in the doorway of the waiting room, an expectant look on his face.  The Doctor smiled slowly and nodded “He made it through the surgery just fine, he’s currently in the recovery ward, once he’s off the anesthesia, we of course have to make sure all of his basic functions are still intact, but we are optimistic about that.  Once he’s been situated in a private room, I’ll have a nurse come down to get you.” The doctor announced, and an uproar of applause echoed in the small room.

 

Tony smiled as he thanked the doctor, watching as the man in green scrubs turn and walk back towards the double doors, “He’s okay…” Tony whispered as he looked down at his feet, tears of relief and joy raining down his cheeks, Tony turned to everyone in the room “Basic functions… Like what?” Tony finally asked, searching his friends and families faces.

 

Ducky stood up and sighed as he pulled Tony back to his seat “His vision for one, speaking, hearing… All things that are controlled by the superior cerebellar artery and the trigeminal nerve.  That’s where they had to insert the sponge to stop the nerves from compressing together.” Ducky said as he looked at Tony, laughing a bit at the confused look on the younger man’s face “They just have to make sure nothing went wrong with his daily functions.  I’m positive nothing went wrong though, Doctor Landon is a highly recommended neurosurgeon.” Ducky said confidently as he patted Tony’s hand.

 

After another twenty minutes of waiting, everyone was escorted up to the ICU “I can only allow two people in the room… And visiting hours are restricted from 0800 to 2000 hours.” The surly nurse stated as she looked at all the hopeful faces drop slightly, then abruptly turned and left the group standing there.

 

Tony inhaled deeply as he looked over at Ducky, then back at the closed glass door, “Try and do something about the restriction Duck?” Tony asked quietly, Ducky nodded and patted Tony’s back reassuringly before traipsing off to do battle “I’ve got a man to see.” Tony said as he pushed the glass door open and walked into the room quietly.

 

* * *

 

 

Harm laid flat on the hospital bed, his normally tanned skin pale in comparison to the white sheets he laid on top of and the white gauze wrapped around his eyes and head.  Tony frowned as he stood at the foot of the bed, looking at the unusually still body of his lover, someone who he was used to being constantly in motion, much like himself, he was used to Harm’s mouth moving, or his fingers tapping out the beat in his head.

 

“T…Ton…” Harm rasped out, his fingers twitching slightly on the bed as he tried reaching towards the younger man.

 

“Harm…” Tony whispered as he stepped closer and wrapped his hand around Harm’s hand “How are you feeling, babe?” Tony asked as he sat down on the edge of the bed, gently rubbing his thumb across the back of Harm’s hand.

 

“Don’t know… Got a bit of a headache… and… really thirsty…” Harm said, his voice scratchy and wavering slightly as he squeezed Tony’s hand a couple of times.

 

Tony smiled as he brought Harm’s hand up to his mouth, kissing his lover’s knuckles “Let me get you something to drink… Anesthesia always gives me cotton mouth too.” Tony said as he released Harm’s hand as he got up and grabbed the cup and jug with water.  Tony carefully placed the straw to Harm’s lips “Slow sips, I don’t need you choking on me.” Tony said softly.

 

Harm nodded as he slowly sipped on the refreshing water, sighing contentedly as the cotton feeling dissipated, “Thank you.” Harm said as he slowly pulled himself up to a seated position, frowning slightly “Wish I could see you right now… What’re you wearing?” Harm asked softly as he patted the edge of the bed invitingly.

 

Tony chuckled as he placed the cup down and sat back down on the bed, interlinking his fingers with Harm’s as he looked down at his lover’s half covered face “I’m wearing jeans, the ones with the holes in the knees, and I’m wearing a green shirt… The one with the grey pinstripes on it.” Tony said as he bit back his bottom lip, tears welling up in his eyes slightly.

 

The doctor knocked on the doorframe as he walked in, “I hate to interrupt gentlemen, but it is time to remove the gauze and see what we’ve got going on… It already seems as if his hearing and speech are unaffected, but now it’s eyesight time.” Doctor Landon said as he rounded the bed and stood on the other side of Harm and Tony.

 

Harm grinned slightly as he turned his head towards the voice of the doctor “I’m ready.” Harm said, squeezing Tony’s trembling hand reassuringly.

 

Landon nodded as he carefully began removing the layers of gauze until the only thing left were the patches over Harm’s eyes “Alright, Mr. Rabb, the lights in the room might be quite bright when I remove the patches – But, I need you to open your eyes and tell me what you see… Whether your vision is fuzzy, doubled, anything and everything.” Landon informed him, Harm nodded as he closed his eyes and waited for the patches to be removed.

 

Harm blinked slowly as he opened his eyes, “I… I uh… I can’t…” Harm stammered out, his hand clutching tightly to Tony’s hand as tears began welling up and rolling down his cheeks, his breath hitching erratically “I can’t… see… why… why can’t I see?” Harm asked through sobs, his fingers digging into Tony’s hand.

 

Tony inhaled sharply as he leaned forward, pressing his lips against Harm’s forehead, “Shhh, its okay Harm… It’s okay… breathe baby… just breathe.” Tony whispered soothingly, his own tears riding down his cheeks.

 

“Mr. Rabb, the blindness you’re experiencing could be temporary.  I do not want you to get overly stressed about this right now.” Doctor Landon said, pressing a firm hand against Harm’s trembling shoulder.  “You should get some rest, let your body readjust to the changes it has undergone.  I will check on you in two hours and see if there’s been any improvements.” Landon added as he quickly left the room and pulled the glass door shut.

 

Harm turned away from Tony, curling into himself as he bit down on his bottom lip, “I… I need to be alone… please?  Please… just… leave me alone.” Harm whispered hoarsely, his body still trembling with both shock and tears.

 

Tony frowned as he got off the bed, “I love you Harm.” Tony said as he gently rubbed up and down Harm’s back, leaving the room silently with tears still riding down his cheeks.

 

* * *

 

 

Over the next couple of days, Harm’s vision slowly started clearing up, but he was still seeing blurry doubled vision, he hadn’t said much of anything to anyone, no matter how much they tried engaging him in conversation, even Gibbs tried talking to him, but nothing seemed to be able to snap him out of the funk he was in, which worried Tony to no end.

 

“We have to do something… I can’t just stand by and let him be angry at the world for this.” Tony said, sighing wearily as he shoved his fists into his hoodie pockets.

 

Gibbs sighed as he ran a tired hand through his hair and down his face “We’ve tried everything Tony.  Movies, music, joking, talking, sports… We’ve tried _everything_ he enjoys in life… What else is there?!” Gibbs asked, looking up at Tony from his spot on the hard faux-leather seat in the waiting room.

 

Tony shrugged as he turned around a few times, then stopped, staring at the closed and dark room that his lover was laying in “I don’t know… I really don’t…” Tony said quietly, “But, I’m going to find out!” Tony inhaled deeply as he marched across the hall and slowly opened the door, stopping in his tracks as the sound from Harm’s room echoed out into the hall.

 

_I don’t care if it hurts – I want to have control – I want a perfect body – I want a perfect soul_

_I want you to notice – When I’m not around – You’re so fucking special – I wish I was special_

_But I’m a creep, I’m a weirdo – What the hell am I doing here? – I don’t belong here…_

Tony sighed as he walked into the room, “You’re not a creep, or a weirdo…” Tony said quietly as he looked over at Harm with tear-filled eyes “And you do have a perfect body, and soul…” Tony added, stepping closer to the bed.

 

Harm shook his head as he looked down at his lap “How can anything be perfect when all I see is a blur of colors, Tony?” Harm asked quietly, twisting the end of the blanket in his hands.

 

“Because, eyesight or not, Harm… You’re perfect to me… That’s what should matter, isn’t it?  How the people around you, who love you, see you?” Tony asked as he sat on the edge of the bed, wrapping his fingers around Harm’s wrist lightly.

 

Harm shrugged as he bit at his bottom lip “I guess, but… I… I just want to be able to see your face again… and to be able to know what you’re wearing… To know if I’m making you smile, or frown… or by chance, angry… I can’t see any of that… all I see is a blob of unrecognizable color…” Harm said, his fingers trembling slightly as he slowly lifted his head up to look at Tony.

 

“Doesn’t matter… I’ll tell you, every day, what I’m wearing, from head to toe.  And you’ll know when I’m happy, because it’ll be in my laugh.  You’ll know when I’m sad, because it’ll be in my voice… And you’ll definitely know when I’m angry, because I’ll be the one punching you in the face – again.” Tony said as he leaned forward slightly, pressing his lips against Harm’s cheek.

 

Harm sighed as he wrapped his arms around Tony’s back “So, you’re going to love me, no matter what happens to me, huh?” Harm asked, grinning against Tony’s cheek.

 

Tony nodded as he kissed Harm again “Till the Angel of Death comes for me babe.  I’m tattooed on your heart.” Tony replied sincerely as he pulled back just slightly and kissed Harm lovingly on the lips.


	10. What Monster?

Four years had passed since the surgery, and Harm’s eyesight had mostly returned, he had to wear glasses for nearsightedness now but that was a small price to pay considering he hadn’t had a migraine since the surgery.  He was also working at the DC’s district attorney’s office full time and working his way up the ladder at a rather quick pace.  Him and Tony were still together, had been for six years now, and were living in a single-story, four bedroom home in the same neighborhood that Gibbs lived in.

 

Harm came into the house, yawning loudly as he set his briefcase down on the foyer table, he stripped off his jacket and began sifting through the mail on the table “Dominic, get off the coffee table.  You’re going to get hurt.” Harm said as he set the mail back down.

 

Dominic frowned slightly as he turned towards his father “But daddy, the floor is made of lava!  If I get on the floor, I will burned up!” Dominic protested, crossing his arms over his chest defiantly.

 

Harm sighed as he walked over to his four year old son, “Alright, well, Daddy is wearing magic lava-proof shoes, so… How about I pick you up, and you tell me where daddy is at?” Harm suggested, grinning at his boy.

 

Dominic nodded as he climbed into Harm’s arms, then up onto his shoulders, “Daddy Tony is in the bedroom with Katie.” Dominic informed him, wrapping his arms around Harm’s forehead.

 

Harm nodded as he set his hands on Dominic’s knees as he walked through the house quietly, smiling as he listened to Tony and his two year old daughter from outside of the nursery, “Alright my pretty princess, are you ready for dinner with Grandpa?” Tony asked as he tickled Kate’s stomach, Kate giggled as she wrapped her arms around Tony’s neck.

 

“Wha’ ‘bout Daddy and Dom?  They gonna ‘ave dinner wit’ gampa too?” Kate asked as she pulled herself up to Tony’s shoulder, looking around her pastel pink bedroom.

 

“Of course they are, and I bet you that daddy is already home, you want to go find him?” Tony asked as he headed towards the hallway.

 

Kate squealed as Tony walked out of the bedroom and saw Harm standing there “DADDY!” Kate shrieked excitedly as she launched herself from Tony’s shoulder and against Harm’s chest.

 

Harm quickly wrapped his free arm around Kate’s waist and held her to his chest, “Hi my princess!” Harm said, kissing the top of his daughter’s head affectionately, then leaned forward, kissing Tony lovingly on the lips “Hey daddy.” Harm said, winking as he kissed Tony once again.

 

Tony giggled as he reached up, plucking Dominic off Harm’s shoulder, “Hey babe, how was work?” Tony asked as the two men headed towards the kitchen with their children.

 

Harm shrugged as he settled Kate into her high chair “Pretty good.  Case I been working on for the past two weeks is finally going to the Grand Jury, which is exciting.” Harm said as he opened the fridge and began pulling out the marinated steaks and tofu steaks.

 

“That is exciting.  I’m so proud of you.” Tony said as he set Dominic down, watching as the young boy ran off, giggling as he bounced onto the couch.  Tony walked over to Harm, slipping his arms around his lover’s waist and kissing the back of the taller man’s neck.

 

Harm grinned as he turned around in Tony’s arms and pressed his lips to Tony’s, kissing the younger man passionately.  Tony whimpered as he clutched at Harm’s hips, pulling the taller man closer into his body as they grinded their hips together “Gentlemen, you have young eyes in the room!” Gibbs bellowed as he cupped his hand over Kate’s eyes.

 

Kate giggled as she pried Gibbs’ fingers off her eyes and looked up at the older man “Gampa!” Kate squeaked as she pushed herself out of her highchair and latched onto Gibbs’ neck.

 

Harm and Tony pulled apart, blushing furiously as they both stared at the floor “Sorry… We uh… Got a _little_ carried away?” Tony said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck.

 

Gibbs chuckled as he tucked Kate underneath his arm, grinning as she giggled and squirmed in his arm “Ya _think_?  I mean, you were whimpering Tony.” Gibbs said, chuckling again as he nuzzled his nose into the baby soft blonde hair of his granddaughter.

 

Tony sighed as he laid his head against Harm’s chest “It’s been a while since we had… time together…” Tony whispered as he looked down at the floor, nibbling at his bottom lip slightly.

 

Gibbs sighed as he set Kate down on the floor, “I could take them back to my house for the weekend… If you two want some time alone…” Gibbs stated, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning his hip against the counter.

 

Harm shrugged as he looked over at Tony “What do you think babe?  A weekend staycation?” Harm asked curiously as he laid out the steaks and tofu-steaks on the grill pan.

 

Tony sighed as he sat down at the breakfast bar, “Do you really think you can handle a two year old and a four year old?” Tony asked, looking up at Gibbs with worried eyes, Gibbs nodded slowly “And you won’t let them down into the basement without supervision?” Tony added, raising an eyebrow.

 

Gibbs growled slightly “I won’t let them out of my sight for even a second longer than necessary.  I know how to take care of children, especially my grandchildren Anthony.” Gibbs stated as he looked over at the two children in question, smiling softly.

 

Tony nodded “Okay… Alright, they can go.” Tony said as he slid off the bar stool and grabbed the dinner plates and glasses out of the cabinets, frowning slightly as he collected the silverware, “Are you sure?  I mean, Dom is a handful by himself… Add in Katie and they’re…” Tony waved his hand with the silverware helplessly in the air.

 

Gibbs laughed as he grabbed the silverware from Tony’s hand, “Tony, _I know_.  They’re energetic little balls of chaos.  I can handle this… I know all the emergency numbers, I know both you and Harm’s cellphone numbers…” Gibbs said confidently as he set the silverware down on the table then walked out to the living room and sat on the floor with Kate and Dominic.

 

Tony sighed as he leaned against Harm’s back, “Stop worrying, Tony.  They will be fine with Jethro, they adore their grandpa and always behave better for him than they do us.” Harm said as he flipped the steaks over, seasoning them liberally

 

Tony nodded as he slid his hands into Harm’s front pockets, “I know… but I wouldn’t be a good daddy if I didn’t worry about my babies at least a little bit.” Tony said as he kneaded his fingers into Harm’s thighs lightly.

 

* * *

 

 

After dinner, Harm sighed as he packed two overnight bags, “Gonna be damn quiet with them gone for the weekend.” Harm said, chuckling softly as he held up a small pink backpack and an orange and blue pack, looking at Tony with a slight frown.

 

Tony sighed as he came over to Harm, kissing him softly on the lips “Mhm, and I’ll fill that silence with my own noise.” Tony said, winking as he ran his hand down Harm’s chest and stomach to his groin, gently squeezing the flaccid cock within the confines of Harm’s sweatpants.

 

Harm groaned low in his throat, rocking forward against Tony’s hand “Can’t wait… Let’s… get them out of here now.” Harm said, slightly breathlessly as he walked towards the living room with Tony following behind him.

 

“Alright, Dom, Katie – You two need to behave for Grandpa Jethro this weekend…” Harm said as he crouched in front of his two children, helping them into their backpacks, both children nodded ‘ _Yes daddy_ ’ they replied, grinning widely as they looked at their father.

 

Tony shook his head slowly as he looked down at Kate – who was a mirror image of himself – and Dominic – who was a mirror image of Harm – both children had the excitement levels of Harriet, “Alright, give daddies kisses and hugs.” Tony said as he crouched down.  Kate and Dominic both rushed into one of their father’s arms, hugging and kissing them, then switching and repeating their actions.

 

Dominic and Kate both bounded back over to Gibbs, slipping their hands in his hands and smiling widely “Night daddies!” Kate said, giggling as she climbed onto Gibbs’ foot, wrapping her free arm around his thigh.

 

Tony and Harm waved at their children as Gibbs walked them out of the front door.  Harm pushed the door shut and sighed as he turned around, looking at the war-torn living room, the chaotic kitchen and dirty-laundry stuffed laundry room, “Having kids is messing with that small part of my brain that says ‘everything needs to be clean at all times’.” Harm stated as he pushed off the door.

 

Tony laughed as he looked around the room and nodded “Mine too, but I wouldn’t change the way our life is now.” Tony said as he walked over to Harm, wrapping his arms around the taller man’s neck and pulling Harm’s head down, kissing his lover softly on the lips.

 

Harm grinned as he slowly backed Tony up towards the wall, pressing one hand against the wall while his other encircled his lover’s waist, their lips still touching in soft caressing kisses, “Love you.” Harm whispered as he rested his forehead against Tony’s.

 

Tony nodded, whimpering slightly as he wrapped one leg around Harm’s lower back “Love you, too.  Ready to go to bed?” Tony asked as he gently twisted the ends of Harm’s hair in his fingertips, Harm nodded as he wrapped his arms around Tony’s thighs and lifted his lover up, carefully traversing the living room and heading towards their bedroom.

 

* * *

 

 

Tony moaned out as Harm sank his entire length into his body, his fingernails scratching down Harm’s back, leaving behind a trail of red marks.  Harm groaned as he pressed his forehead against Tony’s shoulder, “Fuck… You’re so damned tight!” Harm ground out through clenched teeth as he slowly rotated his hips to loosen Tony’s channel up a bit more.

 

Harm locked his arms underneath Tony’s kneecaps, pushing Tony’s legs up higher and pressing his palms into the mattress next to Tony’s hips as he began a slow thrust that gradually got faster and deeper.  Tony cried out in pleasure, a litany of ‘ _oh god_ ’, ‘ _oh fuck_ ’, ‘ _yes, yes!  Right there!_ ’ and ‘ _Harder, faster!_ ’ flying out of Tony’s mouth as Harm drilled into Tony, obeying his lover’s every command.

 

Harm gritted his teeth together as he tossed one of Tony’s legs over his shoulders, turning his lover onto his side, “Oh… fuck…” Tony panted out, gripping onto the sheets as Harm continued thrusting into Tony at a near brutal pace, causing Tony to scream out into the mattress.  Both men found release at the same time, screaming each other’s name as they came, then collapsed against the mattress, panting harshly as they tried to regain their breath.

 

As Harm and Tony laid in bed, almost asleep, Tony’s cellphone began ringing on the nightstand, Tony jumped slightly, groaning as he rolled over towards his phone, grasping the offending device as he answered the phone “Hello?” Tony said into the phone, his voice groggy from lack of sleep.

 

“Huh? Oh… Yeah, okay… She’s okay right now, though, right? … Alright, we’ll be there in a few minutes…” Tony said into the phone, slapping Harm’s thigh as he rolled out of the bed himself, Harm groaned as he rolled off the bed, blindly searching for his clothes “Yeah Gibbs, we’re getting dressed now… Tell her we’ll be there as soon as we can.” Tony said, hanging up the phone as he grabbed his discarded jeans and t-shirt.

 

Harm pulled on his sneakers and jacket, sighing as he looked over at Tony “So what happened?” Harm asked, yawning into his fist and scrubbing a hand down his face tiredly.

 

“Katie woke up crying, and when Gibbs went to see what was wrong… she had a minor freak-out, and has been crying for us since he went to get her.” Tony said, sighing tiredly as he sat on the edge of the bed.

 

Harm chuckled softly as he grabbed Tony’s shoes and helped his lover into them, “I knew sending her to his house was going to be a bad idea.  She’s just _not_ ready for sleepovers…” Harm said as he laced up Tony’s shoes, then stood up, pulling Tony off the bed. 

 

“What do you mean _you knew_ it would be a bad idea?!  I was the one who didn’t want this to happen!  I knew she wasn’t ready, but you insisted on them going so we could have a weekend together alone!” Tony all but shouted as he pulled away from Harm and headed for the front door “Now, come on!  M-… _Our_ daughter needs us!” Tony said as he walked out of the house, not waiting to see if Harm would follow him, especially after almost slipping up about Kate’s paternity.

 

* * *

 

 

Tony and Harm walked into Gibbs’ house a few minutes later, and were immediately assaulted with the sounds of their two-year-olds sobs.  Gibbs stood up from the couch with Kate in his arms, and breathed a sigh of relief as he looked at the two men stripping off their jackets in the doorway.

 

Tony came over to Kate and ran a smoothing hand over the back of her head, Kate lifted her head out of Gibbs’ chest and looked at her father with watery eyes “Hey princess, what’s wrong with my girl?” Tony asked softly as he lifted his daughter from Gibbs’ arms and cradled her against his chest.

 

Kate shook her head, sniffing noisily and swiping her snotty nose across Tony’s shirt.  Harm sighed as he stood behind Tony, rubbing a gentle hand up and down Kate’s back, “Is Dominic okay?” Harm asked, glancing up the stairs, then back at Gibbs.

 

Gibbs nodded his head, yawning tiredly into his fist, “He’s fine.  Slept through this entire ordeal.  Or at least, I hope he has, because he hasn’t come downstairs yet.” Gibbs said as he looked between the couple and his now sleeping granddaughter, “You guys may as well head up to the guest bedroom with her, you aren’t going to be able to get her home, especially because you both look dead on your feet.” Gibbs said as he turned and headed upstairs, not looking back to see if his two boys were following him or not.

 

* * *

 

 

Tony and Harm laid down on the guest bed with Kate nestled in between their bodies, Harm interlocked his fingers with Tony’s at the head of the bed and then over their daughter’s stomach, keeping her in a protective circle of arms and their chests.

 

“Sorry about snapping at you earlier.” Tony whispered, brushing his thumb over Harm’s knuckles lightly.

 

Harm lifted his head and looked over at Tony “And, I’m… sorry… that I insisted on us having a quiet weekend together?” Harm said questioningly, not sure if he was even in the wrong about this or not.

 

Tony shook his head and slapped the top of Harm’s head lightly “It was a good idea, it would have been a better idea though if Katie were older and understood what was happening.” Tony said, keeping his voice low as he stared directly into Harm’s baby blue eyes.

 

Harm sighed as he scooted over closer to Tony, and Tony did the same, their lips almost meeting just above their daughters head.  Both men had thought Kate was fast asleep, and when a small hand shot up between their almost-touching lips, they both laughed loudly as they looked down at their girl, “What do you think you’re doing?” Harm asked, looking into the green eyes of his daughter’s wide open eyes.

 

“Dada no kissy!  Kissy is yucky!” Kate protested, giggling as she brought her hand back down and looked between her two fathers.

 

Tony raised his eyebrow slightly “Since when?  You’ve never had a problem with us kissing before.” Tony questioned, looking down at his daughter, a confused look on his face.

 

Kate shrugged as she sat up between her fathers, “No kissy.  Simple.  Now, let go play!” Kate said as she moved to climb over Harm’s legs to get off the bed.

 

Harm quickly wrapped his arm around Kate’s stomach and launched her back down into the bed gently “No, it’s not playtime.  Its bedtime Katie, now lay back down.” Harm said as he ran a soothing hand in a circle against Kate’s stomach.

 

Kate shook her head as she pushed Harm’s hand away from her stomach “I not sleepy!  We play!” Kate demanded, standing up in the center of the bed and staring down at her fathers, a cute, but angry pout on her face.

 

Tony shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose, “Caitlin Rose, we are _not_ doing this tonight.  You lay your… _butt_ down, and go back to sleep.” Tony said in a firm tone, which – should – broker no argument, ‘ _What am I thinking, this is a two year old…_ ’ Tony thought to himself as he stared up at his defiant toddler.

 

Kate pondered Tony’s statement for a few seconds, then shook her head, blonde hair flying everywhere “No!  We go play!” Kate shouted as she bounced over Tony’s legs and then hopped off the bed, running from the room.

 

Harm and Tony let out ragged sighs as they collapsed in the bed, “We could just let her play by herself… Eventually she’ll get bored and fall asleep… Right?” Harm asked, looking over at Tony whose eyes were half opened, his own eyes hooded and on the verge of falling shut any second.

 

Tony shrugged as he rolled over, lying his head in the center of Harm’s chest, “Don’t know… Too tired to try and fight with her right now…” Tony mumbled as he wrapped his arm around Harm’s body, slipping his fingertips into the waistband of Harm’s sweatpants, his hand resting firmly on Harm’s trim hip.

 

Harm chuckled as he kissed the top of Tony’s head, slowly drifting off to sleep, then something started pulling at the back of his head, stopping him from sleeping, “Tony!  What if she goes down into the basement?!” Harm questioned as he pushed Tony off his chest and rolled off the bed and ran out of the bedroom at the speed of light, and hardly giving Tony time to react to Harm’s speedy movements.

 

* * *

 

 

Harm bounded down the stairs, taking two at a time in search of his daughter, his heart pounding in his chest as he searched the entire downstairs and even looked in the basement – despite the door being closed.  Harm rubbed at his forehead tiredly, “Where the hell is she?!” Harm whispered as he started walking back towards the living room.

 

Gibbs walked down the stairs tiredly with a hyper two year old in his arms “Have you lost something?” Gibbs asked around a yawn, his eyes just about as heavy as Harm’s.

 

Harm sighed as he collected Kate from Gibbs’ arms, “I’m really sorry about this Jethro… I don’t know what’s gotten into her tonight.” Harm said as he shifted Kate around his hip, trying to counteract her restless squirming.

 

Gibbs shrugged as he shuffled towards the kitchen “Happens.  Toddler gets ten minutes of sleep in their system, has energy to move the pyramids.  If only we could bottle and sell that energy, wouldn’t have to work for the next… ever.” Gibbs said tiredly as he poured a mug of coffee from the constantly brewed pot.

 

Harm raised his eyebrow, “It’s… Two in the morning, how on earth can you drink coffee at this hour, and then go to sleep?” Harm asked, glancing at his watch a few times and checking to make sure that it was still working.

 

Gibbs shuffled back towards the stairs “Years of drinking the stuff, immune to the effects… Night.” Gibbs grumbled as he headed up the stairs all while drinking the coffee.

 

Harm shook his head as he sat down on the couch and held the still squirming Kate in his arms, “Alright Kate… What is going on with you?” Harm asked, settling Kate on his thigh.

 

Kate stopped squirming and looked up at Harm with watery eyes, “I no sleepy.” Kate protested weakly, snuggling into her father’s broad chest.

 

“You are sleepy, but why don’t you want to go _back_ to sleep?” Harm asked, rubbing up and down Kate’s back soothingly to settle whatever is unnerving his daughter.

 

“Acause, a monster eated me while I sleepin, no wanna be eated!” Kate said sadly and quietly, twisting her small fingers in the fabric of Harm’s shirt.

 

Harm sighed, now that he knew the problem, he had to find the fix for it, “Katie, you know daddy won’t let any monsters eat you.  Neither will Daddy Tony, we’re too strong for the monsters to get to you.  And Grandpa Jethro wouldn’t let monsters eat you either.” Harm said softly, flexing his free arm and letting the muscles in his arm bulge and flex.

 

Kate giggled as she reached out, squeezing Harm’s bicep in her small fingers, “Daddy proteck me from bad monster?  Even da one in da winnow?” Kate asked, looking up at her father again, her bottom lip trembling slightly.

 

Harm raised his eyebrow, “What monster in the window baby?” Harm asked as he stood up with Kate in his arms, cradling the toddler against his chest as he headed upstairs slowly.

 

Kate clutched her arms around Harm’s neck, “Da monster at home, he stare at me while I sleepin, he really scary looking and… and… he always look like he wants to eated me.” Kate stammered out, her bottom lip trembling even more.

 

Harm stopped in his tracks, looking down at Kate with wide eyes “Do you know what this monster looks like?” Harm asked as he walked into the guest bedroom and sat down on the foot of the bed, discreetly tapping Tony awake.

 

Kate nodded as she adjusted herself in her father’s lap again, “Uh huh… He tall, like you… and… skinny like daddy… he got dark hair like you… he… he look kind of like you… except… older.” Kate hiccupped out, nuzzling into Harm’s chest even further.

 

Harm sighed, thankful that Tony had taught both kids how to describe someone if need be.  Harm looked over at Tony who was scribbling the shotty details his daughter gave, down on a notepad “Okay baby… Daddy and I will help you get rid of that monster too, now… Do you think that you can try and sleep with us protecting you?” Harm asked, looking down at the top of his daughters head.

 

Kate nodded as she crawled away from Harm and positioned herself in the center of the bed.  Harm smiled sadly as he got back into position on his side of the bed and snuggled in close with his daughter and Tony, cocooning her between their bodies.  Harm and Tony stared at each other, a silent conversation being conveyed between their eyes as they wrapped their arms protectively around Kate’s stomach, they both looked down as Kate began drifting off to sleep, neither man felt tired anymore now that they found out that something was seriously wrong with their daughter’s safety and had a thousand questions and concerns running through their minds.


End file.
